18 CommentsWHO IS IMOUTO? / By Shinmaru /

WHO IS IMOUTO 4 – That One Time When We Were Kids

Listen:

Shougo Mikadono has come unstuck in time.

Shougo has gone to sleep a normal student and woken up on his wedding day. He has walked through a door a senile widower and come out the other side surrounded by 15 incestuous offspring. One moment he is at his high school graduation; the next, he is leaping in front of a car to save a childhood friend.  Shougo has seen his birth and death many times, he says, and visited all the events in between.

He says.

Shougo has become an actor in the stage play of his life. He is a paranoid wreck because he never knows which scene he will relive next. Will it be when he saved Konoe from getting hit by that car? When he played with Miyabi at a hospital and had a wedding veil for some reason? When he spread mayonnaise on his toast one time just to see how it tasted? Or when he was brought into the teacher’s office one day for some after school discipline? Something old? Something new? What would happen if he changed something? Would it all just disappear?

He woke up in bed. On his right was Konoe wearing only a buttoned-up shirt. On his left was Miyabi wearing only an apron. Shougo had visited this memory so many times that the sight of the two desperately coming on to him left Shougo numb. What was the point of it? Konoe would eventually die during that tragic steamroller accident, and Miyabi was found one day dangling from a rope in a closet. Their deaths were always on Shougo’s mind.

“Guys just love girls who are naked under a button-up shirt, right?” Konoe asked.

“No, it’s got to be girls naked under an apron when it comes to newlyweds,” Miyabi said.

Shougo struggled to not vomit. He knew every word that would be said, every movement they would make. He tried to make a move once; he could see naught but Konoe’s crushed skull and Miyabi’s bloated, gray body. Now he simply lay there, unmoving, his eyes looking anywhere but at the two girls. Their deaths haunted Shougo so; he felt that there was something unnatural about them, something more to the circumstances, but he couldn’t figure out what . . .

Suddenly a flash of white. Shougo found himself holding a phone. It rang. Ikusu was on the other end.

“I think I figured out what voice changer she was using,” Ikusu said.

“What?” Shougo asked.

“You know . . . your sister,” Ikusu said. “She’s using an experimental model of cell phone that had a voice modulator. It was taken off the market because people feared it could be used for evil if put into the wrong hands.”

The wrong hands. Yes. Whose hands were those hands? Something itched deep in the recesses of Shougo’s brain. A name . . . just one name. An outline of a face. A voice.

“Onii-chan . . .”

Shougo rapped at his head. Something was there. He could feel it. But it didn’t want to float to the surface; it was buried too deep.

“Um, is something the matter?” Ikusu asked.

“No, no, it’s nothing,” Shougo said. Then another flash of white. When Shougo opened his eyes again, he was sitting on a bench next to Konoe. Miyabi stood in front of them, angrily tapping her foot. This memory again. The one where Shougo learned he had known both girls when he was a child and forgotten about it due to a tragic accident that left him hospitalized for an indeterminate amount of time. This revelation had stirred Shougo once upon time, but he had heard it so many times now that it barely registered. It seemed so fake, so forced, so contrived.

Shougo knew those memories were real, too, since he had also visited them many times over, but in a way they, too, felt fake. There was something about them that seemed too neat. The way the memories disappeared and reappeared so conveniently, and the way they seemed constructed to distract Shougo and bring him down. It was almost as if . . . as if . . .

“Oh, Onii-chan, are you finally catching on?” a voice said.

“What . . . ?” Shougo said. He looked up. The sky had darkened; clouds swirled ominously and then formed the outline of a young girl who peered down at Shougo. Her face was obscured, but she was instantly familiar. That voice stabbed straight through Shougo’s brain. He would recognize it anywhere.

“It’s you . . . IMOUTO!!!!!” Shougo shouted.

“That’s right, Onii-chan,” IMOUTO said. “I was wondering when you would notice something was wrong. I was starting to get bored. It’s not fun to play when I can’t do it in person.”

“Is all this fake?!” Shougo asked. “Did you . . . did you implant all these memories into my mind?”

“Some, but not all,” IMOUTO said. “I made all the fun ones up myself. Don’t you realize how boring your life is now? Come with me and I’ll spice it up!”

“You won’t make me bow down,” Shougo said. “I’ll get you eventually . . . IMOUTO!!!!!”

“I’ll be waiting for you, Onii-chan,” IMOUTO said. “Even if I have to wait 12,000 years.”

Another flash of white. IMOUTO was gone; Shougo was back in bed, with the near-naked Konoe and Miyabi by his side once more. What was real? What wasn’t? WHO IS IMOUTO?

Important questions, all. None of them answered. For now.

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18 Comments

  1. Posted July 27, 2012 at 8:08 pm | Permalink

    Kurt Vonnegut is rolling in his grave.

    I love it.

    • Posted July 27, 2012 at 8:35 pm | Permalink

      I can at least be secure in the knowledge that this was not worse for him than the Dresden firebombing. Maybe.

      • Posted July 30, 2012 at 10:33 pm | Permalink

        next, IMOUTO NIGHT, an alternate history in which IMOUTO rule the world.

  2. Posted July 27, 2012 at 8:12 pm | Permalink

    Colin Farrell, starring in the remake of that early 90s harempunk classic, TOTAL IMOUTO.

    • Posted July 27, 2012 at 8:36 pm | Permalink

      Just wait until you see the little sister with three breasts!

  3. Posted July 27, 2012 at 8:13 pm | Permalink

    *Que nichibros theme song in the background*

    Great post shin! Very interesting and the use of IMOUTO is great! DAMN YOU IMOUTOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    • Posted July 27, 2012 at 8:37 pm | Permalink

      I imagine Stephen Colbert yelling it when I write it.

  4. Posted July 27, 2012 at 8:19 pm | Permalink

    Well, if you can’t get much material from the episode, get it from other shows. Pity my style of comedy won’t let me do that.

    Love the Aquarion joke by the way.

    • Posted July 27, 2012 at 8:37 pm | Permalink

      Gotta work with what you can get!

      I figured I would throw anime fans a bone after alienating them with Western literature.

  5. Posted July 28, 2012 at 2:06 am | Permalink

    WHO FRAMED ROGER IMOUTO

    “Oh my God…it’s DEEEEEERP!”

    • Posted July 28, 2012 at 7:31 am | Permalink

      … Why did it take me a second or two to get that. I’m dumb.

  6. Adrian
    Posted July 28, 2012 at 3:29 am | Permalink

    I don’t think I’d be able to keep my sanity over this situation. I mean, “why doesn’t he just shoot them?”
    Slow and steady, one by one. Lessening the candidates will eventually get him closer to the truth. Get rid of the body, make it look like an accident, cry over their grave. Learn to dissimulate. Take some lessons from Raito if possible. Once Imouto stops calling him, he’ll know who she was.

  7. Click
    Posted July 28, 2012 at 8:15 am | Permalink

    My my, things do not bode well for Shougo’s penis. Assuming that he actually bones one of them and assuming that the said girl isn’t his sister, she’s still a total slut. By the finale, I expect a tough choice to be made: hot, dirty incest or a shot at venereal disease.

    • Posted July 28, 2012 at 6:31 pm | Permalink

      I think this episode proved there will be no boning to speak of.

  8. fathomlessblue
    Posted July 28, 2012 at 6:09 pm | Permalink

    I’m currently writing a light-novel spinoff: Gravity’s IMOUTO.

    The twist is that Shougo’s penis is actually IMOUTO, and whenever he thinks of her, V-2 rockets launch over Japan, exploding in a glorious tickertape parade of his own manufacture. Also a fairy dies.

    • Posted July 28, 2012 at 6:29 pm | Permalink

      all of my money

    • Posted July 28, 2012 at 6:30 pm | Permalink

      Countering my literary references with even higher-brow literary references. CLEVER GIRL.

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