MIKADONO GROUP memo Sept. 16, 20XX
Seri: I am calling this meeting of the International Masters of Underground Traitorous Operations to order. We have many things to discuss this afternoon. I hope we can all be . . . civil this time.
Angry Japanese executive: You know full well your plan is taking longer to come to fruition than promised! We need to prevent Shougo from taking over the Mikadono Group!
Seri: I know what is at stake. Would you kindly refrain from speaking to me in that manner? You know who is backing me up.
Angry Japanese executive: Hmph, you can flaunt the specter of IMOUTO all you want, but who’s to say she even exists? We’ve seen neither hide nor hair of–
???: Of whom?
(Someone enters the room and takes a seat at the head of the table. Her seat is shrouded in shadows; however, when she speaks, the confidence and command in her voice eaves no doubt that she is IMOUTO.)
Suddenly frightened Japanese executive: I-I-I–
IMOUTO: That will be enough. Status report?
Seri (adjusts her glasses): Our sleeper agent has infiltrated Shougo’s inner circle. She has won Shougo’s trust even quicker than I imagined — the false DNA analysis we supplied helped that nicely. It’s only a matter of time before our agent disrupts the camaraderie of the group to the point where they openly suspect one another of sabotage.
IMOUTO: Excellent. You also made sure to bribe a waiter to switch Miyabi’s grape juice for wine during the party so that her lack of inhibitions would embarrass Onii-chan?
Seri: Yes. He will wait for the optimal moment to strike.
IMOUTO: Very good. Our plans are coming along nicely. How are our other operations proceeding?
Generic executive: The investments we made in DNA testing have paid off much better than expected. Apparently a fluid testing craze has swept through Japanese high schools, particularly those with lopsided male-to-female ratios. Our . . . urine testing operation in particular has paid out in gold, so to speak.
IMOUTO: What about the tests that measure based on the mucus membrane?
Generic executive: Somewhat less popular. Apparently students are unsure what that is. Many of those tests lead to suspensions from school.
IMOUTO: Eliminate that line immediately. We can’t afford the bad press.
Generic executive: Yes, ma’am. (Sits down.)
IMOUTO: I assume our investment in the amusement park is continuing to pay off.
Cultured carny executive (stands up): Indeed it is. Turning the tunnel of love into a zombie shooting game was a stroke of genius. Horror has a way of stimulating the libido. I noticed you increased funding to the DNA testing agency at the same time you upgraded the amusement park. A shrewd decision.
IMOUTO: Thank you.
Seri: It also ties in nicely with those donations to the church we’ve been making throughout the year.
Priest: Indeed. The city’s teenagers are growing increasingly restless with our pro-celibacy stance. We’ve, heh, been hammering it into them with more frequency this year. More than a few of the little angels have snapped back at us. They’re so frustrated. It’s almost delightful.
IMOUTO: Most excellent. And what of our overseas operations?
Yamakan: Fractale is doing better in America than I ever would have dreamed. The show was dubbed in English. The Blu-ray copy of the anime is sold online without shame. My sources tell me the Blu-ray copy was on the shelves in the movie sections of legitimate stores rather than the much-maligned anime section. My tears flow like waterfalls. I have never felt so accepted in this industry that despises me so.
IMOUTO: Quite. Well, our businesses at home and abroad are contributing nicely to the plan. The results of this meeting are acceptable. I see no way that Shougo will not be displaced from the Mikadono Group. Even if he isn’t, our operations have ensured a wonderful bounty for the future. Good day, gentlemen.
(IMOUTO gets up and leaves. Seri shuffles papers and gets up. Everyone follows her, save Yamakan, who is weeping openly.)