12 CommentsWHO IS IMOUTO? / By Shinmaru /

WHO IS IMOUTO 10 – The Agent from I.M.O.U.T.O.

MIKADONO GROUP memo Sept. 16, 20XX

Seri: I am calling this meeting of the International Masters of Underground Traitorous Operations to order. We have many things to discuss this afternoon. I hope we can all be . . . civil this time.

Angry Japanese executive: You know full well your plan is taking longer to come to fruition than promised! We need to prevent Shougo from taking over the Mikadono Group!

Seri: I know what is at stake. Would you kindly refrain from speaking to me in that manner? You know who is backing me up.

Angry Japanese executive: Hmph, you can flaunt the specter of IMOUTO all you want, but who’s to say she even exists? We’ve seen neither hide nor hair of–

???: Of whom?

(Someone enters the room and takes a seat at the head of the table. Her seat is shrouded in shadows; however, when she speaks, the confidence and command in her voice eaves no doubt that she is IMOUTO.)

Suddenly frightened Japanese executive: I-I-I–

IMOUTO: That will be enough. Status report?

Seri (adjusts her glasses): Our sleeper agent has infiltrated Shougo’s inner circle. She has won Shougo’s trust even quicker than I imagined — the false DNA analysis we supplied helped that nicely. It’s only a matter of time before our agent disrupts the camaraderie of the group to the point where they openly suspect one another of sabotage.

IMOUTO: Excellent. You also made sure to bribe a waiter to switch Miyabi’s grape juice for wine during the party so that her lack of inhibitions would embarrass Onii-chan?

Seri: Yes. He will wait for the optimal moment to strike.

IMOUTO: Very good. Our plans are coming along nicely. How are our other operations proceeding?

Generic executive: The investments we made in DNA testing have paid off much better than expected. Apparently a fluid testing craze has swept through Japanese high schools, particularly those with lopsided male-to-female ratios. Our . . . urine testing operation in particular has paid out in gold, so to speak.

IMOUTO: What about the tests that measure based on the mucus membrane?

Generic executive: Somewhat less popular. Apparently students are unsure what that is. Many of those tests lead to suspensions from school.

IMOUTO: Eliminate that line immediately. We can’t afford the bad press.

Generic executive: Yes, ma’am. (Sits down.)

IMOUTO: I assume our investment in the amusement park is continuing to pay off.

Cultured carny executive (stands up): Indeed it is. Turning the tunnel of love into a zombie shooting game was a stroke of genius. Horror has a way of stimulating the libido. I noticed you increased funding to the DNA testing agency at the same time you upgraded the amusement park. A shrewd decision.

IMOUTO: Thank you.

Seri: It also ties in nicely with those donations to the church we’ve been making throughout the year.

Priest: Indeed. The city’s teenagers are growing increasingly restless with our pro-celibacy stance. We’ve, heh, been hammering it into them with more frequency this year. More than a few of the little angels have snapped back at us. They’re so frustrated. It’s almost delightful.

IMOUTO: Most excellent. And what of our overseas operations?

Yamakan: Fractale is doing better in America than I ever would have dreamed. The show was dubbed in English. The Blu-ray copy of the anime is sold online without shame. My sources tell me the Blu-ray copy was on the shelves in the movie sections of legitimate stores rather than the much-maligned anime section. My tears flow like waterfalls. I have never felt so accepted in this industry that despises me so.

IMOUTO: Quite. Well, our businesses at home and abroad are contributing nicely to the plan. The results of this meeting are acceptable. I see no way that Shougo will not be displaced from the Mikadono Group. Even if he isn’t, our operations have ensured a wonderful bounty for the future. Good day, gentlemen.

(IMOUTO gets up and leaves. Seri shuffles papers and gets up. Everyone follows her, save Yamakan, who is weeping openly.)

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12 Comments

  1. Posted September 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm | Permalink

    Not enough speculating about Imouto :(

    • Posted September 17, 2012 at 3:50 am | Permalink

      I never seriously speculate about IMOUTO because I actually don’t give a shit about who IMOUTO is.

  2. luffyluffy
    Posted September 16, 2012 at 10:17 pm | Permalink

    fandom sceret I actually think Yamakan is really cute looking and I usually never think 3DPD is cute.

    the only one cuter than Yakaman is Hideo Kojima but that’s because Kojima is a hot oyaji and I’m a super oyajicon huehueheuheu

    • Posted September 17, 2012 at 3:50 am | Permalink

      Is a weeping Yamakan cuter than a non-weeping Yamakan?

  3. anon
    Posted September 17, 2012 at 4:32 am | Permalink

    that fractale part made me lol

    wait, is that really what happened? fractale is actually selling outside japan?

    • Posted September 17, 2012 at 4:36 am | Permalink

      lol I honestly have no idea. I barely ever peek at sales numbers. I DID see copies of Fractale in the movie section of a Best Buy once, though. Not sure whether they were purposefully put there or moved there by some prankster, however.

    • Anca
      Posted September 17, 2012 at 8:12 pm | Permalink

      It’s only really a catastrophe towards the middle/end. The beginning is exactly what would appeal to an international audience. I’m not surprised.

  4. Madu_Scientisto
    Posted September 17, 2012 at 3:03 pm | Permalink

    An entertaining read as always.

    Do you (Shinmaru),or anyone else here for that matter happen to know if this show has enough popularity in Japan to warrant a second season? To be honest it wouldn’t surprise me if we get 12 more episodes (especially since this is an adaptation of an ongoing LN) to ponder the great question of our time – WHO IS IMOUTO?

    • Posted September 17, 2012 at 3:20 pm | Permalink

      I don’t know. I never pay attention to that stuff unless it’s super obvious that a show is popular enough to warrant subsequent seasons. Guess we’ll find out when we see if the show gets an anime-original ending or not.

  5. Erif
    Posted September 17, 2012 at 6:47 pm | Permalink

    You good sir are genius.

    wait haven’t i already done this?

    • Posted September 17, 2012 at 7:35 pm | Permalink

      My ego approves of this repeated stroking.

      • Erif
        Posted September 17, 2012 at 9:16 pm | Permalink

        Good, I wasn’t sure if I should slow down or not.

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