For the third year running, The Cart Driver is up for the Irish Blog Awards. The first year I was a finalist in the Best Blog by a Youth, but lost the final because the mother of the winner bribed the judges with cake and pasties (this has not been verified). The second year I was in the Best Specialist Blog category (because they somehow didn’t have enough blogs run by Irish people for a Best Anime Blog category) but was knocked out in the early stages because the judges were apparently not impressed by my plea for votes. This year I’m in the Best Pop Culture Blog category, and clearly I’m the best blog there. However I do have a significant problem when it comes to this award ceremony. It’s an Irish blog awards. This blog is about Japanese cartoons. It’s a crisis of national identity. To counter this, I have decided to change the blog’s mascot away from that bloke in the cart to an anime character who perfectly represents the Irish.
Celty is a perfect representation of many traditional Irish cultures and values. To list just a few:
- She is actually from Ireland, rather than saying she’s Irish but only because she had an Irish granny.
- She has sickly pale skin from a lack of sun.
- She had to emigrate to find employment.
- She speaks 4 words of the Gaelic Irish language in the entire anime, which is roughly the same amount of Irish the average Irish person can speak.
- You can say nothing to stop her talking.
- She’s very superstitious.
- She loves the horses.
- She spends most of her nights out on the town completely headless (geddit? Headless? Because headless means drunk? Shut up OK this is difficult)
- And many more! I’m sure the comment section will provide several other fine examples of her Irishness (please guys?)
So now that I’ve made The Cart Driver suitably Irish, I will take my award. Please? I mean, I have hundreds and thousands and millions and billions of readers and commenters and lovers, but it’s not a whole lot of good to put on a CV or anything. “Hey I have a popular anime blog” is about as effective as saying “hey, I can piss my name in the snow”. Saying I have the winner of the 2012 Irish Blog Awards Best Pop Culture Blog would actually sound like I achieved something with these past 4 years, rather than it looking like I wasted my time writing dumb stuff on the internet. Please let me win. Please?
I’ll blow you Shinmaru will blow you.