Normally I am hype central come new season. Normally I’m desperate to be the first to watch everything. Normally I’m scrambling to get my first impressions post out there. Normally I’m capable of writing several paragraphs on most of the new anime based on first episodes alone. Normally I’m the one calling people out for saying a season is crap. Normally I’m defending a first episode and pointing out the potentially interesting parts of the series.
Not this season. This season sucks.
My face remained in a resolute =| for the entire episode. It simply wasn’t funny, and every single joke is dragged out before ending on a nothing punchline that barely qualifies as a joke. Which makes me wonder: Was Minami-ke always like this? I remember liking it, but was that really just Hosaka? Or perhaps my tastes have changed, and if I returned to the first season today I’d find it just as tedious as this episode. It could be that this episode was indeed just shit, but I’ve seen a bunch of old Minami-ke fans praising it as being a return to form, so maybe my tastes really have changed. Is it really the case that I can no longer enjoy Minami-ke? That’s a depressing thought.
I saw a gif of two girls flying through the air and colliding their butts together, so I thought maybe Senran Kagura would be worth a pop for a laugh or two. But no, instead it was incredibly boring. A bunch of girls with about half a brain cell between them do absolutely nothing of interest. The fight scene, where supposedly the interesting stuff happens in these sorts of booby flying every anime, lasted about a minute, and 30 seconds of that was the worst transformation sequence ever. One of the girls span around, had her body flash, only for her to appear wearing the exact same clothes except her shirt was unbuttoned. Also the boob grabbing. Even if we did live in a parrallel dimension where sexual assault is considered hilarious (otherwise known as 5 years ago OHSNAP SOCIAL SATIRE), even running gags need to evolve and not just have it be her grabbing breasts 4 times an episode.
After EVOL, I’ve been totally open to the idea that I can thoroughly enjoy a spin-off anime that I’ve never seen the original of. THE UNLIMITED reminded me more of Code:Breaker than EVOL, partly because it was shit. Other similarities include a self-important sultry asshole badass as the main character who wanders around smugly being ridiculously overpowered and spouting self-serious lines under his breath in an attempt to sound deep and mysterious but actually just sounds like the dialogue from the Lit. Girl segments in Daily Lives of Highschool Boys. Throw in a totally arbitrary rule set behind the super powers and that the attempts at depth and commentary in the setting are laughably terrible. But most damningly of all is that its completely humourless. At least Code:Breaker occasionally knew how to laugh at itself and pull a joke or two. Scratch my original comparison. THE UNLIMITED is worse than Code:Breaker.
Bakamatsu Gijinden Roman
This one is just sad. The obvious comparison is to Lupin III, so long as you extracted all the charisma from Lupin III. The whole thing feels limp, like they’ve stuffed a dead person with straw and are drying to simulate it being a good anime by poking it with sticks. It’s not even like the person they’ve stuffed was particularly attractive in the first place. The visuals are bland and the action scenes are static and shit. When I said I was hoping for the glorious return of something on the level of Gundoh Musashi, I wasn’t joking. Sure, I would have preferred it to be actually good, but at least being legendarily terrible is something worth noting rather than just being…this.
The female lead in this is so much of a blank slate that she hardly counts as a person. Even her voice seems to have been barely registered by the microphone its so monotone. I suppose she forgot she had a personality too. Not that I could remember the bishie’s personalities either, seeing as they seemed to fit the same mold all bishies from these shows fall into. Namely that they’re a bunch of condescending dickheads. Do girls really like this? Dressing up as maids so you can be at the beck and call of men while being looked down upon by the men around you? Stuff like this and Maid-sama and Otome game adaptations in general seem to give that impression, or at least that entertainment is telling women that they should be looked down upon. Huzzah for feminism!
Caught in the carnage between my girlfriend and my childhood friend
You know what I can’t wait for? People to say this is a fantastic deconstruction of the typical high school romcom because the first episode had the lead two say they hated love. The story construction has nothing to do with the fantasy of having two girls fighting over you. Nope, none whatsoever. In the past they used to be pretty up front about their haremyness, but now they seem to hide behind “well no, they don’t actually like him *wink wink nudge nudge*”. Not that the new way is either a plus nor a minus. Just a change. Anyway, the whole thing is quite dull and fuels my automatic bias towards any anime where the characters don’t have noses. The only way you can have a good anime with no noses is if it also has tanks.
Maoyuu Maou Yuusha
Here we have an anime about economics of wartime. You know what would help us make this more engaging? Terrible boob physics! Where did the whole terrible boob physics thing come from anyway? It’s not attractive, since boobs look quite fine by themselves. Possibly a little jiggle, but not this flying around like they are two water balloons attached to a roller coaster look stuff like Maoyuu has going on. I feel like it started as a joke but got out of hand. As for the rest of Maoyuu, it’s…got a charming duo, some fascinating takes on economic stability, and the characters love to grandstand and are pretty darn great whenever they do that…but I’m devoted to this idea of everything this season being shit so pretend I didn’t say any of that.