I was originally going to post about the last Break Blade movie, but my internet provider sent me a message complaining about how much I was downloading this month. Not sure if it would be particularly happy if, as soon as I got that message, I went off and downloaded a 1 gig video. So yeah, saving that video for next month when my internet usage resets, and instead posting about visual novels again.
Devil on G String, weeaboo name G Senjou no Maou (while there’s no more weeaboo pastime than playing visual novels, when your English name is that awesome, why wouldn’t you use it?). It starts off a bit interesting. Some guy walks through a snowy town, philosophising about what have you. Another girl walks in the opposite direction, philosophising about what have you. It was all very Vague and Mysterious for about 2 minutes.
Then there was a scene change. The main character wakes up. His classmate, a braindead girl who is scarily interested in his every move, rings his doorbell and walks to school with him. There we meet the womanising wingman with a hilarious split personality, the irritating possessive little sister who desperately wants to bone the main character but it’s OK because she’s not blood related, and the Mysterious Transfer Student, whose only real mystery is how would we tell her apart from the other two girls without their various hairstyles due to how each character design looks the exact same.
And suddenly we’ve reached exactly the kind of material that turned me off visual novels in the first place.
I played this game for roughly 5 hours. Of that, about 3 hours were of pointless meandering about with the main character going through an average day in school. The main character is bland and personality less, which contrasts nicely with how painfully retarded each of the people he talks to are. Even the girl who is supposed to be a genius, the mysterious transfer student, comes off a special kind of socially retarded that is played as though it’s meant to be funny. The scenes frequently go nowhere, leading to a line with the main characters simply saying “just another day at school”, which he would have said several times over the course of the proceeding scene already anyway, because god does this game like to repeat the redundant. We get it, you fucking shitty game, that when a character says “I am angry with you” that she’s angry. You don’t need to then have the main character pointing out to us that she looks angry.
I understand that what the story was trying to portray was that this school life was an escape from the supposed dramatic underworld life the main character had. But so much nothing happens, and keeps happening, that it remains painfully boring throughout. So much of G String consists of nothing. Saya no Uta started off with us catching a glimpse of what appeared to be a fusion of an eyeball and a testicle, making a sound like the devil gargling his mouthwash. That’s introducing you into the story, not the 2 solid hours of pratting about doing fuck all that G String kicks off with. I know I shouldn’t compare every visual novel with Saya no Uta, seeing as it’s much shorter than your average VN. But I was under the impression that having a longer VN would mean a longer story, not that you had the same length story but with endless amounts of padding.
3 hours into Saya no Uta and we’d already had mysteries, deaths, character development and all sorts of crazy shit. The most dramatic thing that had happened in G String was the irritating little sister, who is not blood related so it’s OK for her to want your cock, breaking the main characters Bach CD. The music became all dramatic, so I figured the main character would do something interesting in return. So what did he decide to do? Hide the gym key so the sister wouldn’t be able to play her volleyball match later on that day. Whoop de fucking doo, that’s the big thing? That? I was expecting him to flip out, unleash his money-laundering, bribing powers to bring ruin upon their once peaceful lives. For him to fall into a frenzy, slice the head off each of the girls and fuck their decapitated bodies because at least then something would have fucking happened!
Even the parts of the story that are meant to be actual development of some sort of story are plagued with the same problems the braindead school setting scenes have. If a guy bluntly tells me to fuck his daughter while he leaves a subordinate bleeding to death by his dinner table, then I think I can gather for myself that he’s not a very nice father. You do not need for the main character to constantly monologue before and after the incident how evil he thinks this man is. Also, could someone tell me what is the point of having fully voiced characters in the narration if the text is going to point out that the man, who’s voice actor has a husky gravelly voice, spoke in a husky gravelly voice? Why do you bring in these famous voice actors if the writing makes their presence redundant? It couldn’t just be because people like listening to their voices and don’t give a shit about how it actually affects the story, right?
Mind you, I was gradually turning off each characters voice anyway as each one got more irritating as the game went on. I discovered the options section allowed me to speed up the dialogue, but the game still waited for each voice actor to finish their line before they went onto the next line. Removing their voice allowed the game to move by much faster. It’s funny how one of the selling points people touted for this game was that it had a character voiced by Jun Fukuyama, considering how I’ve frequently expressed my total disinterest in voice actors. Maybe it was more for the character he was voicing, in which even his opening scene of supposed badassery was totally botched by over-explanation of the rules of the game and for the person he was playing against to painstakingly point out how much of a badass he was after he did something badass.
The story eventually reached a scene that was supposed to come off as a Death Note esque battle of wits, where the mysterious transfer student followed the trail of clues left by Jun Fukuyama. I was so drained by that stage that I barely paid attention to what the mystery was. Perhaps the visual novel could have used the strength of its medium to involve the reader in the mystery themselves? Well, perhaps not, because the scene was supposed to show us what a genius the transfer student was. The only involvement I had, apart from shutting off the characters voices in a desperate attempt to speed this accursed story up somewhat, was some completely arbitrary choices that had no apparent effect on the story. From what I read about the game, the only purpose these choices had was whether you were able to get the women naked later on in the game. In fact, I would have welcomed such a scene, if only to break up the monotony.
Oh, and what was the purpose of this battle of wits scene? After 5 hours of playing, did we finally get some story? It was for the female to Prove Her Worth and that the story could actually begin now. Cue flashy sequence of still images of the characters shooting across the screen before jumping to the title screen, proudly announcing that I could move onto the next chapter. You know what G string? No. Fuck your next chapter. If that proceeding 5 hours of fuck all was a test of our patience before we could get into the real story, then I’ve failed. I don’t care what you have to tell after this point. You do not get better I swear. You just do the same damn thing, except this time your shitty redundant writing and your painfully stupid characters are inserted into Plot instead of bland school life settings.