Today is the day that’s the furthest away from Christmas. There’s no day more perfect for talking about depressing subjects. 12 moments in anime I watched this year that caused me to rage. Scenes in anime that made me double facepalm at the time and continue to make me facepalm whenever I think about them (no really, the amount of times I buried my face in my hands while constructing this post as I remembered these dreadful scenes…). When anime drove me to brief moments of pure depression. For every great moment, there’s a terrible one. All in one post mind you. I don’t want to drag this pain out any longer than is necessary.
This post is 2000 words of pure and endless rage in which I poured my soul into and came out the other side shaking and totally spent. I put more sheer energy into this post than any before and it was all channeled into producing pure hatred. You have been warned.
12: Keima is just another boring harem lead
The World God Only Knows was hyped up before its airing. Now generally I like the hype. Yes it can come back to bite you in the ass when it’s unjustified, but the fantastic feeling when something lives up to the hype is worth sitting through the disappointments. But what a disappointment this was. It was just another shitty harem anime. The girls were more generic than the ones in the games Keima plays. The humour revolved around yelling loudly and turning chibi. But the biggest disappointment of all was Keima. All the hype suggested he was Lelouch in high school and oblivious to women. Rubbish. He blushed when confronted with women. His fancy uniform was no different to what anyone else was wearing, just leaving him as a generic loser in school uniform. Girls fall into his lap. Damnit guys, he’s just another generic harem lead. Urgh, I fucking hate this anime -_-
11: Favourite character turning into a crow
Thanks to No Anime is Dropped Forever, I had to watch quite a bit of anime I really didn’t enjoy this year. One of these was Air. The first half of the series wasn’t that bad. It was kinda dull, but at least it had a mildly interesting male lead in the true style of sarcastic KyoAni leads. He doesn’t hold a candle to Tomoya or Kyon, but he made Air fairly tolerable. Although not tolerable enough to finish the anime, as it turned out. But, spurned on by this new project of mine, I picked the anime back up again and what happens? Within the second new episode, they turn the one good character in this series into a crow. A fucking crow! What, why? Why kill the one good thing this anime had going for it? I generally disliked the last few episodes of that anime, but turning your good character into a crow annoyed me more than anything.
10: Bakemonogatari Delayed Again and Again and Again
9: Groping Little Sisters
Ore no Imouto. My Little Sister Can’t Be This Cute. Of course I expected it to be terrible. But the first two episodes were good! Like, really good. Enough for me to call it the second best anime of the season, behind Jellyfish Princess. It was clever, witty and so tightly produced but, most importantly, it looked like it was deliberately pointing out how it wasn’t a siscon otaku pandering fest. But that started to change pretty darn quickly. Episode 3 sent off warning signs, but it wasn’t until this blasted scene did it finally reveal its true colours. No you idiots, you can’t pass this off as fanservice. This is what the anime wants to be, what it always wanted to be. It was the defining moment that shaped how the entire rest of the series wanted to be seen as.
8: Crappy Durarara villain
Durarara was one of the best anime of the year. It’s probably the only one from this year that really spread its influence across the various corners of anime fandom. Nothing had as big an impact as Durarara did. That’s why it’s all the more depressing when it mucks up. Which is exactly what it did in its the final arc. Why Durarara? Why did you decide to end your anime run by picking this guy as the villain? How many of you can even remember this idiots name? Think of the fantastic cast of characters you could have picked for your final villain. Even Izaya said it himself in the anime. He should have picked a better villain. Damnit Durarara, you need another season. Not just because the story is unfinished, but to wash the taste of this arc out of fandoms collective memory.
7: Silent Mobius 2
Silent Mobius 1 was far from the greatest anime movie of all time, but it was serviceable. It was about a girl who moves to the Big City but is chased by horrid, otherworldly demon things. It’s quite a good metaphor for someones fear when they move into a new city and how they don’t understand anything. It also has a seriously creepy near-tentacle rape shower scene. So yeah, pretty decent movie. Silent Mobius 2 is fucking terrible. I can’t stress how bad this movie is. A girl takes the main character home who she found collapsed on the ground. She then insists that she’s the main character’s friend for no reason whatsoever, follows her around obsessively until, when she’s attacked by monsters, the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP saves them. No really, this movie is just dreadful. Truly and utterly dreadful.
6: Makoto Shinkai
2010 was the year I was finally exposed to Satoshi Kon’s fantastic movies. It was also the year I was introduced to the movies of another heralded anime director: Makoto Shinkai. And I hated them. Lots of pictures of people standing in trains or floating in midair or walking in snow while the entire story is told through monologues. ‘Show, not tell’ you stupid director! Just a parade of pretty pictures with some uninteresting love stories involving 2 people with no personality whatsoever. Jesus Christ, I hate his movies. Hate, hate, hate them. Worse, I even saw 5cm per Second in the bloody cinema because it was screening at the same venue as Summer Wars and EVA 2.0. I was laughing at how bored I was. The final scene was a boring song and more pretty scenes of sakura petals floating. Why the hell do people like this guy?
5: Angel Beats makes no sense
I liked Angel Beats. Still do, as a matter of fact, even if it has become an unpopular viewpoint to have. It was a hell of a lot of fun, watching TK boogying off in the background as it mocked itself and the characters. One of the things I did like to do was throw out wild theories as to what was going on. They were in purgatory. They were in a game, all on life machines as they simulated living. It was as much fun theorising what was going on as what was actually going on. But then came the final episodes and it became clear Angel Beats was an utter mess. I realised that it hadn’t a clue what it was doing and was constructing a plot not knowing what it really meant. Please don’t suggest more episodes would have made it work, nor that it needed a better director or anything. The very structure of this series made no bloody sense. A guy sitting in a room with a bunch of computers, Yuri shooting them down to ‘win’, NPC’s turning into blobby monsters NO STOP ANGEL BEATS! STOP STOP STOP BEING SO FUCKING STUPID!!! I preferred it when I could kid myself you knew what you were doing =(
4: Welcome to my Nightmare
I’m going to have to hold back a bit on this point because this deserves a post of its own. I simply can’t explain why I had such a negative reaction to this anime in a single paragraph. To put it as simply as I can, it was Lucky Star all over again, except better. As in, it was better at causing me pain. Better at thrusting me into my nightmare. A nightmare where nothing happens, nothing happened and nothing ever will happen.
3: Magical Flying Panther
Occult Academy didn’t jump the shark in episode 12. It jumped on a Magical Flying Panther and flew far over the sharks head and off over the horizon, never to be seen again. Apart from me, who had to watch that stupid episode. By god this episode was beyond stupid. I’m finding it difficult to write about this episode in general because I keep remembering each stupid detail of the episode. It’s hard to type when your palms are glued to your face. The Magical Flying Panther takes the plaudits though. The bodyguard who never talked was actually a Magical Flying Panther all this time (not one clue given to us btw) who took care of Maya and then died tragically in a highly touching scene, with Maya apparently being distraught by this beast she met barely 5 minutes ago josdkmdcsmjnsd ARGH THIS EPISODE ARGH SO STUPID ARGH!!!
2: Princess Tutu never got better
No anime is dropped forever. When I use the term ‘dropped’ that does not mean that’s the last I’ll see of that anime in my life. Dropping a show means that I don’t have the enthusiasm to watch this show currently and at a later date I’ll return to that anime. One of these anime was Princess Tutu. I was assured that IT GETS BETTER I SWEAR!!! It’s the hope that killed me. The hope I had sitting through the entire series that something would change. That it would get better. But deep down I knew. Tutu would never get better. It was going to be like this throughout the entire series. I would never like Princess Tutu. Every other moment of this list makes me rage. Tutu doesn’t. Tutu was soul-crushing.
1: Var Var Var
But nothing I watched this year beats Hellsing Ultimate episode 4. I loved the original Hellsing. Sure, the plot was a mess, but it was the style in which it was done that was the important part. But people assured me that Hellsing Ultimate was a bazillion times better, putting the original to shame. First two episodes of Ultimate were the same ground covered by the original Hellsing series, much like Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood. Hence they were a bit rushed as it strived to reach the new material. This new Hellsing, this Ultimate Hellsing, was endless sadism and overkill. This is what people were calling out for? To watch Alucard maim people for half an hour at a time and nothing else? That’s all episode 3 and 4 boiled down to. This doesn’t even have a purpose anymore. This has gone beyond even self-parody and simply looks stupid.
Then came the speech. I mean, I get that Hellsing is trying to convey that these people love violence for the sake of violence. But it had thus far managed to do was overkill depicting overkill, a highly difficult task that Ultimate managed phenomenally well. But that speech went on and on and on and on and fucking on and on. Even the dub, which was part of what made me love the original Hellsing, this time made the silly German accent of the speech even more painful to sit through. I like var. Var Var Var. Do you know what I like? Var! It was that for 20 solid minutes. 20 minutes of a speech about how much he liked war. There was nothing more to it. I was a wreck after this. This is Hellsing Ultimate? This is what everyone was crying out for? Why? Why? Why why why why why why why why why *curls into fetal position* why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why *sobs uncontrollably* why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why…