20 CommentsHopefully Humorous / By Scamp /

Rio Rainbow Gate episode 2

I can’t get enough of this show. It’s horrendous. It’s brilliant. It’s dreadful. It’s fantastic. It’s horrible. It’s glorious. It’s so bad it’s good.

This episode starts with introducing the dojiko, twintailed Russian character. Revolutionary I say, who ever thought of a twin-tailed dojiko! Those two never go together. Neither does it go with Russian. However she could have been from Atlanta for what difference in made to her character. Why did they even say she was from Russia? She’s just as shiny as every other character in Rainbow Gate. They don’t make much of an effort with her dojiko-ness. If boobs don’t bounce realistically, then neither is tripping up going to displayed realistically. She simply moves herself into the ‘oh dear I’m tripping’ position and the animators proceed to rotate her body 90 degrees. At least that’s what they did the first time around. Every single tripping scene after that neglected to show the actual falling action. It’s as though the animators realised they had no idea how animate someone falling over so simply stopped trying.

It’s the little things that make Rainbow Gate tick. Simple things, like Rio teaching the Russian girl with no hint of a Russian accent whatsoever to deal cards for blackjack. Upon watching her shuffle the cards correctly, Rio instantly believes that’s enough. No checking to see if she knows the rules, which way to deal or the etiquette of blackjack. She can shuffle the cards in a fancy manner, that’s all that’s needed. I’m guessing all she needed to know for the roulette table was how to throw the ball in and she has all the qualifications needed.

The plot appears in the greatest fashion imaginable. We have a special magical collectors cards (sold in booster packs in your local casino today, I assume) that people have to battle each other in card games in order to win off each other, which I’m pretty sure was the plot to season 2 of Yu-Gi-Oh. Best way is how Rio receives her card. After being asked how, she looks into the distance pensively and recounts the epic tale. Shadowy man walks in, gives her card, walks out of door menacingly. The End. It’s played so dramatically with lopsided angles and shadowy figures as he walks out the door, it’s utterly brilliant. It reminds me of Sexy Commando when Masaru recounted his epic tale of how he got his magical shoulder rings (*spoiler* he saw them in the woods and picked them up. The End).

Again it’s the little things that make Rainbow Gate. When Rio was challenged to a duel with the Gate Cards as they’re called, the crowd all started furiously whispering “OMG a Gate Card match”. A phrase like such was repeated 6 times, with little variations. Gate Card being repeated 6 times over, just in case we hadn’t heard the first 5 times, is a lot funnier than it sounds. Try say one phrase over 6 times in an excited fashion and try not laugh. Other point of reference is Rio’s boobs. No really, look at them for a second. Look at where they are attached to her body. They grow out of her armpits. No part of them is actually attached to her chest. Breast biology wouldn’t worry me so much, but so much time is spent focusing on them it’s hard to ignore them.

Before I get into the final battle, I want to first share a piece of information about this episode. The storyboard writer of Rio tweeted the following upon watching this episode.

itsuki_Imazaki: Ah, episode 2 of Rio has already started. I’m worried about it…
itsuki_Imazaki: Looks like it’s mostly reverted to the original scenario.
itsuki_Imazaki: It doesn’t make any sense in that direction.
itsuki_Imazaki: What the hell is this? I’m virtually not responsible for this.
itsuki_Imazaki: Stop using my storyboard sporadically…

Now if you catch your breath for a second, remember that this probably happens more often than we realise in anime. Still, for the storyboard writer to come out on twitter and point out how little sense this anime made makes the whole thing even better. This is no longer planned nonsense. This is just plain bad producing. That’s even better!

The final battle this time involved a giant roulette table powered by a bowling alley, the whole structure about as big as your average 4 star hotel. This wasn’t even the alternate world by the way. That consisted of Rio and the badguy having a beach volleyball game with numbers. The characters clothes all turned to revolving numbers, the badguy was defeated by a giant one and, more importantly, by a rogue plaster. Again I’m sorta lost for words on the final battle. It’s arguably the closest this series does to doing something right, for a given value ‘right’.

Does this count as a costume change? She didn’t even transform into this costume in the magical world of duel monsters numbers. She just started having numbers float around her in normal world area. I’m going to have to keep track of how many costume changes Rio has over the course of this show. This episode had 4 new ones by my count. Wait, did I just suggest I’m going to keep blogging this show? I might, I’m not sure how long I can last. I might eventually run out of material to laugh at. Heck, I’m even holding back a bit with this post, writing about 600 words less this time.

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18 Comments

  1. Posted January 12, 2011 at 10:55 pm | Permalink

    It really doesn’t make sense. I loved it. 8D

    The card scene was my favorite too, though I totally forgot about the Sexy Commando rings.

    …oh drat, time to start comparing everything in this anime to Sexy Commando.

  2. OHEMGEE
    Posted January 12, 2011 at 11:09 pm | Permalink

    So I was going to watch it, I really was.
    But your review is probably a much better use of time c:
    That, and “it’s so bad it’s good” has never made sense to me.
    I just latch on to, “it’s so bad”.
    I’ll probably marathon it after 5 or so episodes.

  3. luffyluffy
    Posted January 12, 2011 at 11:30 pm | Permalink

    if you blog this you will be unable to hold all these laughs

  4. Posted January 12, 2011 at 11:57 pm | Permalink

    So bad it’s good for traffic.

    Now Scamp will blog the whole thing.

  5. Posted January 13, 2011 at 2:39 am | Permalink

    Well, at least it looks like they’ll do equal opportunity fanservice!

  6. Posted January 13, 2011 at 2:53 am | Permalink

    I think Rio’s unanatomically situated breasts demand that you keep blogging this. How else will we know how many times her clothes change? (Especially since I’m not actually watching it; just reading you.)

  7. Dad
    Posted January 13, 2011 at 3:21 am | Permalink

    Dear boy. When you grow up you’ll realize how wrong you are about those breasts.

    Your father.

    • Posted January 13, 2011 at 9:10 am | Permalink

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

      Sir, you will never meet me, but I want you to know that a young man from Chicago considers you his hero.

    • Posted January 13, 2011 at 9:19 am | Permalink

      Dear Sir,

      You’ve just made my day.

      Random animeblogger passing by.

    • Posted January 13, 2011 at 9:23 am | Permalink

      Oh lawd, laughing so much right now.

    • Posted January 13, 2011 at 9:41 am | Permalink

      oh jesus, now I’m paranoid

    • Posted January 13, 2011 at 11:19 am | Permalink

      I’d really like to think my parents don’t know about my blog. They probably don’t, I’m pretty sure they’d call and let me know what a disappointment I was if they did. But damn, just the thought gives me the creeps.

      Almost got discovered by a coworker once, had to insist that I didn’t want to talk about it to get him off my back.

    • OHEMGEE
      Posted January 13, 2011 at 1:00 pm | Permalink

      Never expected such a comment 0:

  8. Posted January 13, 2011 at 7:58 am | Permalink

    ^ lolwut.

    this anime sounds….i cant even think of the correct word.

  9. Posted January 13, 2011 at 9:17 am | Permalink

    This anime looks so cash. It may not seem like it now, but in 20 years, we’ll all be looking back on this groundbreaking and culturally significant show. It’ll be like Evangelion, except without the distracting garbage like “plot”. Look at Grenadier. Now THAT was a successful anime about breasts.

  10. Samshel
    Posted January 13, 2011 at 5:06 pm | Permalink

    Funny think you’ll continue bloggin this, even the thought of watching it sounds boring. But heck I’ll enjoy your “rants” about this one, as long as you enjoy doing so ^^

  11. Ygard
    Posted January 14, 2011 at 12:29 am | Permalink

    By the way, if your look close enougth, the “magical floating number” are in fact .. thier 3 sizes.

    Yey, with the power of NUMBERS!, CARDS’LOVE! , and MATH! your can instantly find boobs-sizes, even 400m away.

  12. Morridin
    Posted January 14, 2011 at 9:07 am | Permalink

    Is that Pedo-bear’s head I spot in the third picture?

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