14 CommentsMuv-Luv / By Scamp /

Muv Luv Alternative: Total Eclipse episode 7 – Proudly display thy emblem on your string bikini

I spent a lot of this episode inspecting the bikini of our proud Russian woman, for academic purposes obviously. The first interesting observation is how she has the hammer and sickle emblazoned proudly on her breast, although there’s so little fabric that they can’t fit the entire thing. She could have just printed a smaller hammer and sickle, but that wouldn’t do justice to her pride in the motherland. Alternatively she could wear a larger bikini, but that’s out of the question for reasons known only to the God of Hetchee. The other thing I noticed was the peculiar way her side strings would disappear.

Observe fig.a here. As we can see, the bikini bottom in question is barely more than a thong. No side tie strings either. The arm on the right hand side could indeed be covering the string there, but the arm on her left is clearly behind her bottom so therefore shouldn’t be covering any string at all.

Moving onto fig.b though, and suddenly a string on the left hand side has become visible. Where did it come from? Did she have the string stowed away between her buttocks in the earlier scene?

But then, as if summoned by the power of communism, now there are strings on both sides of her thong. In fact, now it barely resembles a thong. It’s as though the appearances of the string caused her to facepalm and become more modest in her swimwear.

Viewing her mighty figure from behind, the evidence for my ‘string disappearing inside her fabulous bottom’ becomes overwhelming. Analysing the curve, there must be an entire wardrobe worth of swimwear stuffed between her cheeks. Perhaps this is a little known Soviet technique to lull the hot dog scoffing Yankees into staring at her barely covered derrière. I know it’s distracted me from writing about anything in this post, and I’m not even from Murica.

The American though has been well trained in this sort of tactical diplomatic warfare. In one deft swoop, he grabs the fabric and pulls a substantial chunk of it from its hiding place, making the bikini bottom appear far more conservative (which is ironic, considering conservative vs communism and all that). That said, he does appear to have pulled the entire swimwear far up her body, giving the Soviet spy an almightly wedgie, although maybe that was an intentional piece of intimidating bullying.

When the robots arrive though, the Soviet spy has discovered her bikini has gotten to the place that it almost covers her entire bottom, a grave mistake in her mission. In order to not get berated by her fellow Soviet, she hastily stuffs most of the swimwear back between her cheeks again, and she returns to the barely-more-than-a-thong that we saw when she begun her tactical assault.

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14 Comments

  1. Taka
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 11:21 am | Permalink

    This is practically poetry.

    I felt like rapidly snapping after reading the final sentence.

  2. Posted August 16, 2012 at 11:55 am | Permalink

    Nice try, but this scene was clearly a metaphor for Joseph McCarthy’s inane one-man crusade against communist sympathizers during the Cold War.

    The expansion of the swimsuit bottoms represents McCarthy’s rise to prominence with the use of his reckless accusations during his time in the senate, while our American Yuuya is army representative Joseph Welch putting him back into place and sending him back into obscurity, also known as Cryska’s butt crack. The strings are also a representation of Arthur Miller’s classic retort as a playwright, The Crucible.

    I feel like you’re only paying attention to the literal translation. Poor animation? Tch, this is clearly an avant-garde masterpiece and social commentary.

    • Scamp
      Posted August 17, 2012 at 4:57 pm | Permalink

      You win

  3. Moomba
    Posted August 16, 2012 at 12:11 pm | Permalink

    Bravo! You actually managed to draw some entertainment from good old QUALITY. Until I read this thorough and well thought out analysis, I had considered dropping TE despite my misplaced sense of duty towards it from having played the original Visual Novels.

    With the steadily increasing breast sizes each episode, do you forsee problems in the near future? Perhaps an entire arc dedicated to the aquiring of military grade underwear? Or is this just an underlying visual metaphor for the gradually increasing threat presented by the BETA?

    • Scamp
      Posted August 17, 2012 at 4:55 pm | Permalink

      An interesting observation. I think the breasts are a symbol of feminism. Notice how Yui’s strong will drops in indirect proportion to her breast size

  4. Posted August 16, 2012 at 3:14 pm | Permalink

    I think Cryska is secretly an American spy. Look at her bikini: not red! Blue! What a terrible communist.

    • Scamp
      Posted August 17, 2012 at 4:56 pm | Permalink

      That may be due to her being vat grown and not fully grasping her heritage. She clearly makes an effort with the hammer and sickle, but she gets it partly wrong with the blue

  5. Posted August 16, 2012 at 11:57 pm | Permalink

    Okay, that post deserves a round of applause.

  6. Borneo
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 10:33 am | Permalink

    A whole blog post dedicated to the wonders of animated bikinis, and yet not a single screenshot of beach queen – pardon, beach goddess Yui and her sexy swimwear. I am disappoint.

    • Scamp
      Posted August 17, 2012 at 4:56 pm | Permalink

      Cryska > Yui

      • Borneo
        Posted August 17, 2012 at 8:02 pm | Permalink

        You must be one of those ungodly communist devils, there is no other explanation.

      • Posted August 18, 2012 at 8:15 am | Permalink

        A few of the requirements to joining The Cart Driver …

        — Renouncing Jesus Christ as our lord and savior
        — Denouncing capitalism and the efficiency of the free market
        — Buying Joseph Stalin and/or Vladimir Putin dakimakura (but not Leon Trotsky)

        So you might be onto something here.

      • Scamp
        Posted August 18, 2012 at 9:22 am | Permalink

        A Kark Marx dakimakura is fine too

      • Posted August 18, 2012 at 12:09 pm | Permalink

        1980’s Miracle on Ice, bitch. You sick communist bastards will never prevail over ‘Murica, not even in ice hockey.

        And Che Guevara was a way cooler communist than Stalin, no question. I mean just look at his fabulous Kenny G hair.

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