If you are reading this long after the episode aired, I’ve skipped forward to episode 12 because there was no episode 11. Well there was, but it was a recap again. Just assume there will be a recap episode after every arc. We haven’t recapped Nisemonogatari yet so they still have material. They’ll probably recap Kizumonogatari at this rate. After this arc we’ll have a full episode recapping the movie, then people will start asking where that movie is and Shaft will go “wait, didn’t we release that already? Oh shit, it fell behind the sofa, we totally forgot about that”. At least, I think last week was a recap episode. I didn’t actually watch it. It could have been an episode entirely of Senjogahara fanservice which ends with her and Kanbaru performing tribadism and I would never know. Tribadism is a pretty great word, right up there with flabbergasted. Taking a sexual act and making it sound like a religion. The Church of Tribadism. Their symbol is a pair of interlocking scissors.
Where was I before I starting talking about lesbians and the continued lack of Kizumonogatari? Oh right yes, there was an episode of Monogatari I was supposed to talk about. Which I have surprisingly little to say about because it involves the Worst Girl. I know I said Hanekawa was the Worst Girl during her arc, but that was mostly me riling up her fans. She had the unfortunate honour of being in scenes with Senjogahara, and you could put an underwear model made out of chocolate ice-cream in a room with Senjogahara and the underwear model would still come out being the less enticing character.
But in reality, it’s the onii-chan fetish girl Nadeko that takes the cake for the actual Worst Girl. She doesn’t even have an annoyingly catchy opening song this time to make up for it this time. It’s compounded by the fact this arc does a lot of call-backs to what happened to her previously and I can’t remember the details myself. That was the arc where Arararagi carted around with Kanbaru so I was far too busy enjoying Kanbaru than paying attention to Nadeko. Plus I’m still not entirely sure what happened in that arc because Shaft never finished animating it so instead just flashed up blank screens saying “yeah we didn’t have time to finish this sorry”.
That was a thing that happened. 4 years later and that fact still cracks me up. Can you imagine if they pulled the same thing with Attack on Titan? Eren faces off against female titan in the forest but then whoops blank screen sorry we ran out of budget.
We did get to see more of the curiously flat-chested dead-eyes girl, who has managed to fulfil my dream of there being a female version of Meme. For being a niece, she doesn’t look an awful lot like him. Despite the dead-eyes, her facial structure isn’t anything like as gaunt as Meme’s is. Personality-wise though, she does have that ability to sound like she knows way more than you but in a way that sounds slightly insufferable and gets under your skin so you want to yell out “YEAH OK FINE I DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING SO WHAT”. Plus her know-it-all attitude would make sense if she’s really from the future as she so heavily implies. Monogatari has gotten pretty time travel-heavy lately, hasn’t it?
She does ramble on a bit too much though. Oh gee golly, a Monogatari character who is a bit wordy, totally rewriting the rulebook here Nisioisin. From the two times we’ve met her though, she’s got this tendency to go off into long-winded spiels that lead to nowhere. More of a nowhere than other characters in this show that is. I’d like her to meet a character who will interrupt her, see if we can get under her skin. Not that anybody in the Monogatari universe ever interrupts each other. You can’t see it between all the weird camera angles, but they’re actually passing around a conch shell and can’t talk unless they’re holding it.