20 CommentsJoJo's Bizarre Adventure / By Shinmaru /

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders episode 7 – A Classy Orangutan


Shinmaru: Unlike the previous episode, I remembered most everything that happens in this one. Funnily enough, an orangutan dressing like a ship’s captain, smoking a pipe and fiddling with a Rubik’s Cube. (The silly designs on the cube were added for the anime, because a plain ol’ cube just won’t do!) I feel like this fight is more fun in theory than in practice. Despite an orangutan dressed like a captain, this is a more serious fight than the one in the previous episode, but that actually makes it less satisfying when you see what happens. This actually disappointed me in the manga, too, because there’s so much more that can be done with someone who controls a vast environment like the ship. Burying the hook in that one sailor is good (despite our friend, the black blob), and I like the fan attack (and Jotaro totally no-selling it, haha), but everything else is either boring or skeezy in a way I can’t get behind.

Like, what, the grand plan is trap everyone and crush them? Practical, yes; exciting, no. Jotaro gets binded to the wall with pipes but defeats the orangutan basically the same way as the previous episode — with magic stretchy fingers, except they stretch so fast that they can launch projectiles like bullets from a gun? Maybe I’m just jealous that no matter how many times I flicked things as a kid, they would never go as fast as a bullet. But yeah, the previous episode had shark punching, Jotaro being an underwater ventriloquist, and Jotaro telling the enemy not to piss in the water. As good as the lead image is, it doesn’t measure up to the totality of the previous episode. Luckily for everyone, this is actually the last fight I dislike in Stardust Crusaders. The rest of the serious battles are all really good, and the comedy battles are quite funny. The time to establish the JoJo Formula is upon us!

That said, an orangutan getting ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA’d is still a fun sight. Sorry, animal lovers.


Dio has so many muscles. I’m pretty sure he has muscles that don’t actually exist on the human body. (Not that I’m in good enough shape to know this.)

I did like the conversation between Dio and Enya. One aspect of Dio that I enjoy in this part is how he’s so confident, cautious and cowardly all at the same time. He’s like, “I’m Dio and I’m awesome and I’m the one who’s going to stand (lol) on top of the world,” but his defeat in Phantom Blood imparted enough self-awareness in him that he knows he can’t approach this battle blinded by ego. Dio truly believes he is above the Joestars, but there’s this little bit of doubt nibbling away at him in the back of his mind. Dio wants to grab what he believes he is, but those little shithead Joestars will ALWAYS be in his way, and it’s just the worst thing, so he has to get rid of them forever. Then the ol’ Dio ego kicks in when he’s like, “But yeah it’s not so much those Joestar assholes I fear so much as the possibility they could trip me up, because I’m still cool and Dio so fuck you.” Trying so hard to puff himself up here, it’s adorable. But it also leads into a good excuse for a conga line of Stand users to attack the heroes rather than Dio himself with Enya telling Dio not to bother with this scrub nonsense.

Don’t worry, Dio, there are still a ton of volumes to go before you have to slink out of the shadows!

Scamp: Yup, I’m with Shinmaru. This episode was pretty bad. It wasn’t helped that the only really good part of it was the reveal of an orang-utan in a captain’s uniform, but I have seen most of the early 2000 OVA and that specific part was the one part I could remember from it. Thankfully from here on my knowledge of Stardust Crusaders gets pretty limited, at least until they reach the desert and a dog appears and then Jojo plays poker.

But really, this episode was bad. It was rushed and had basically no funny moments. It was skeevy with the camera being quite keen of panning up and down the naked body of a 12 year old girl. It wasn’t solved in a particularly inventive way. And it was ultimately pointless to the plot and could have been skipped. Have rather little to say beyond that. I hope next week is better.

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  1. Nadgers
    Posted May 17, 2014 at 9:52 am | Permalink

    …yeah I gotta admit this ep was pretty disappointing. I really like Forever and all (WU TANG CLAN AIN’T NOTHING TO FUCK WITH), but the pedo shit and the really simple conclusion just really bring this one down. Ah well, nothings perfect.

    • Shinmaru
      Posted May 17, 2014 at 3:30 pm | Permalink

      Yeah. I get “It’s a Psycho reference!” but eh. It wasn’t the fun type of gross; it’s just gross.

  2. shytende
    Posted May 17, 2014 at 11:10 am | Permalink

    This is something I hate to admit, but this week No Game No Life was far better, battle wise.

    • Gan_HOPE326
      Posted May 17, 2014 at 1:29 pm | Permalink

      It also had way more creative censorship. The end is nigh.

  3. Jay
    Posted May 17, 2014 at 2:08 pm | Permalink

    I definitely think it’s a battle that Araki would never have written today. It’s a huge amount of build-up for it to end with Jotaro just going ‘btw I just figured out a use for superstrength besides punching get rekt lol’.

    The Stands flicking things like bullets idea shows up again in Part 4 and that battle is handed so much better it’s not funny.

    • Shinmaru
      Posted May 17, 2014 at 3:28 pm | Permalink

      Pretty much! From here, he gets way more adventurous with the fights. Pushing everything as far as they’ll go makes them so much more fun!

  4. Posted May 17, 2014 at 2:43 pm | Permalink

    I’m really starting to hate Jotaro. Jonathan and Joseph both had class and could respect their enemies. Jotaro is just a sexist, arrogant dick with a penchant for slaughtering animals (and everything else if possible I guess).

    I REALLY hope your right about the next episode bringing back what made me fall in love with the series in the first place, Shinmaru. That being the high stakes fights against extremely difficult opponents won that are won by tactical brilliance.

    • Shinmaru
      Posted May 17, 2014 at 3:26 pm | Permalink

      I think he’ll get more bearable from here, because there will be more of a focus on the others in the group.

      • Posted May 17, 2014 at 4:36 pm | Permalink

        Yeah, everyone was a “damsel in distress” in this episode. Which hurts the most seeing Joseph in the mix because in the entirety of Part II he got out of plenty of ridiculous situations by himself.

    • gedata
      Posted May 17, 2014 at 4:46 pm | Permalink

      To be fair, Jotaro only slaughters animals that accost little girls

  5. NotEffielPolnareff
    Posted May 17, 2014 at 4:39 pm | Permalink

    Want some gum?

    • Taka
      Posted May 18, 2014 at 11:13 pm | Permalink

      That moment had me burst out laughing. That was actually my favorite moment of the episode.

  6. Mormegil
    Posted May 17, 2014 at 10:19 pm | Permalink

    Well, I thought the ship being a Stand was kind of clever.

    • Shinmaru
      Posted May 17, 2014 at 10:20 pm | Permalink

      Oh yeah, it’s totally a clever idea. It’s just that not nearly enough is done with that idea.

    • C
      Posted May 17, 2014 at 11:12 pm | Permalink

      The stand is also one of the most powerful ones in the series. Forever totally would have crushed his opponents had he not been an arrogant and temperamental ape.

  7. Kenjeran
    Posted May 18, 2014 at 11:47 am | Permalink

    Oh yeah, I also totally remember this fight from the 2000 OVA. It was quite uninspiring, so I kinda expected it to be the same. I’m glad that this adaptation improves it, so I’m actually enjoyed this fight a bit more.

  8. Higurashimerlin
    Posted May 20, 2014 at 7:12 pm | Permalink

    I just read this chapter in the manga. The anime did improve it a bit. Side note the silly designs are on the cube in the manga.

  9. N A
    Posted April 21, 2015 at 9:37 pm | Permalink

    So… Forever’s apparently smart enough to solve a Rubik’s Cube in mere seconds, control a Stand that can possess AN ENTIRE SHIP, and be worthy enough to be hired by Enyaba/Dio to kill Jotaro’s group, but… he’s not smart enough to not just kill Jotaro and co. off the bat (like he eventually did after Jotaro found him Pedobearing the completely pointless loli girl), nor is he smart enough to not CONTINUE HOLDING JOTARO’S UNIFORM BUTTON AS HE’S ATTACKING HIM WHAT WERE YOU PLANNING ON DOING WITH IT YOU DUMBASS RANKY TANGO?!

    Squandered potential, even though ‘Strength’ is a pretty cool Stand.

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