21 CommentsJoJo's Bizarre Adventure / By Shinmaru /

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure 5 – History Lessons

Shaking my god damn head if you don’t think JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure is the best show of the season.

I know Bruford (named after the original drummer for Yes) and Tarkus (named after Emerson, Lake & Palmer’s second album) aren’t real knights, but I totally wish they were. They were definitely quite loyal, if a bit dumb. I’m pretty sure everyone watching this episode called that they had been tricked, even if they didn’t know Mary Stuart was executed as ordained by the laws of history. Perhaps if Bruford and Tarkus had gone to the future and cracked open a book of British history, then they would not have found themselves in this mess! Then again, if they had done that, then they wouldn’t have the sheer anger necessary to be Dio’s servants, and we wouldn’t get the battle we’re witnessing in this episode.

So, obviously, history worked out perfectly well.

For all the theatrics with Dio and Speedwagon’s hilarious running commentary (when he is reborn in his next life, it is almost certainly as a Japanese pro wrestling commentator), my favorite part of this episode is the beginning where JoJo and Zeppeli seem almost happy that that kid flies in out of nowhere to steal their bag and then clambers up the mountain while Speedwagon freaks out about all their money being stolen. Oh, Speedwagon, did you forget that you are hanging out with two dudes who are basically superheroes? Let them remind you by altering the properties of the lake so that they may walk on water. They can do that, you know. Jesus Christ has officially been confirmed for possessing Ripple powers.

Of course, JoJo still has much to learn about the power of Ripple, as Zeppeli demonstrates when he prances across the lake like a true man. He probably doesn’t even need to make those weird noises when he does shit; that’s just how Zeppeli rolls. All the better to make his opponents think he is simply some fool before he makes their arm explode with his Ripple powers.

Is it just me or did the fighting seem particularly brutal and cringeworthy in this episode? Not so much for the blood and gore and whatnot (this is probably the least bloody episode so far aside from the opening episode), but more so for what they actually do in the fights. Like, Dio freezing the veins in Zeppeli’s arm so that blood cannot flow there horrified me. Would anyone actually be able to recover from that?? It’s a good thing Speedwagon is such a hot-blooded hero, or else his bosom would not be able to heal Zeppeli’s frozen arm. Poor Zeppeli is also the victim of the other cringeworthy bit of violence in this episode: Dio sticking his fingers in Zeppeli’s knee and basically breaking it in two. Holy shit! Seeing the angle at which Zeppeli’s knee bends pretty much made my knees explode in pain. Ew ew ew.

Then there’s also the super gross detail of JoJo’s ripped up flesh dangling from his hand after he deflects Dio’s attack. The censorship decisions in this show are so weird. “Well, we’ll block out a man stabbing a knife through his neck, but bits of torn up flesh are OK by us!”

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  1. SQA
    Posted November 4, 2012 at 5:42 pm | Permalink

    “It’s only a flesh wound!”

    “Your arms off, you silly sod!”

    You know we have to go there.

  2. JoeQ
    Posted November 4, 2012 at 5:55 pm | Permalink

    Finally Speedwagon reveals his true value! Zeppeli better be grateful and teach him some Art of the Mystics for that.

    Also, Zeppeli’s knee and JoJo’s hand just randomly healing. HAMON! or just laziness?

    • fluffybunnyboy
      Posted November 4, 2012 at 6:08 pm | Permalink

      Maybe Zeppeli used his Hamon powers to remove the pain of his broken knee, so that now he can LIFT THIS LARGE ROCK with his leg if he wanted to.

    • Posted November 6, 2012 at 7:55 pm | Permalink

      Yes, Speedwagon needs those Ripple powers, stat.

  3. fathomlessblue
    Posted November 4, 2012 at 6:52 pm | Permalink

    While this episode had a fair amount of exaggeration and fictitious elements, the threat of zombie knights, like a good old’ fashioned witch hunt, is still quite a big deal over in Britain. Seriously, those undead pricks just can’t let shit go!

    Similar to how other countries have defences/evacuation procedures against hurricanes & earthquakes, we have strict protocols to protect against errant knight poundings! For example, Guy Fawkes (of Bonfire Knight fame) was actually set on fire to prevent his zombie bones going after parliament once more. Also, over half of the underground bunkers used in The Blitz, had actually been created long before as a safeguard against ‘Knight-raids’. Unsurprisingly, there’s little ‘factual’ data supporting these truths, but as the bloke who told me all about them in a pub one evening, was prepared to smash me over the head with a pool cue to defend his claims, it’s safe to say I’ll accept his version of events.

    In truth, I myself was on the receiving end of a Knight Zombie bashing, long ago. They killed my entire family. Even me.

    Even me.

    • Posted November 6, 2012 at 7:59 pm | Permalink

      I’m glad we have you here to educate everyone on British history during this first arc!

  4. Taka
    Posted November 4, 2012 at 7:11 pm | Permalink

    Speedwagon can’t learn ripple cause he’s not a true gentleman. He was raised on the streets in the dregs of society. He probably wouldn’t even know how to hold a wineglass so that it doesn’t spill.

    But he make a good hand warmer.

    • Posted November 6, 2012 at 8:00 pm | Permalink

      We need a My Fair Lady-type spinoff where Speedwagon learns to be a true gentleman.

  5. Clinton
    Posted November 4, 2012 at 9:05 pm | Permalink

    Quite shocking that the ripple does not even work on Dio

    • Posted November 6, 2012 at 8:00 pm | Permalink

      Well, you can’t have the vampire die this early.

  6. EOrange
    Posted November 5, 2012 at 12:42 am | Permalink

    Funny that you’d mention Jesus using ripple powers, since it’s heavily implied he’s a stand user in part 7.

    • cepech
      Posted November 5, 2012 at 3:16 am | Permalink

      Jesus is son of Saint Joseph, and Jesus is a transliteration of Joshua (or Yeshua).

      So JOshua son of JOseph AKA Jesus Christ is the first JOJO of history

    • Posted November 5, 2012 at 8:43 am | Permalink

      Damn, I was about to bring that up. Don’t know all the details, but this is what I’ve been told as well.

      • EOrange
        Posted November 5, 2012 at 12:22 pm | Permalink

        Well, it’s never explicitly mentioned that he uses stands, but he definitely has some kind of power.

    • Posted November 6, 2012 at 8:02 pm | Permalink

      brb converting to Christianity

  7. an
    Posted November 5, 2012 at 3:58 am | Permalink

    The JoJo series’ fabulousness and bombastic nature is well known, but most people forget that it’s incredibly gory as well. The characters regularly lose gallons of blood and break dozens of bones on a daily basis.

    • Posted November 6, 2012 at 8:03 pm | Permalink

      Yeah, I watched the OVAs, and they’re quite gory, especially the 1993 OVA. Good lord!

  8. Posted November 5, 2012 at 9:35 pm | Permalink

    Speedwagon for President/Monarch/PM/Dictator/some position of power.

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