Let’s all just sit and stare at this for a few minutes before I actually get into this post. Don’t worry, I’ll wait for you. No rush.
And … time! That was fun. Once again, good on sataniel for making this happen. Top work!
This episode makes me wonder whether Cars made it to the top of the food chain among the Pillar Men more through backstabbing and politicking rather than being the strongest of them all. Not that he isn’t a formidable opponent, of course, but good ol’ Joseph expended the least effort in dispatching Cars compared to the other Pillar Men . . . OR SO IT SEEMED AT THE TIME. Doubtless Cars hoped to off Joseph without having to become the ultimate Ultimate Being, because that is the dastardly arrogant villain thing to do, but reenacting the spike pit fatality from Mortal Kombat put a damper on that plan.
Credit where it’s due for cars, though: Sneaking the Red Stone of Aja onto one of the stone masks and slipping it onto his face while everyone is distracting by Stroheim’s orgasmic proclamation about how awesome it will be to roast Cars is a Joseph Joestar-worthy maneuver. It’s also a nice piece of symbolism that Cars is using the power of the sun to become the most powerful being alive — overcoming his only weakness so that he no longer has any weaknesses. Inspirational!
I can only hope that becoming the Ultimate Being will not do anything bad to Cars’ glorious mane. If anything, becoming godlike should make his hair more magnificent. I’m not certain exactly how Cars’ hair could possibly become more luxurious, but that’s why I am a mere blog writer rather than creator of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. Maybe that fine feathered hair will have a rainbowy sheen to it like Cars’ blades? We’ve already had one battler who could strangle people with his hair. Why not someone who can slice people up with hair?
But you know what I am looking forward to most with Cars as the Ultimate Being? The inevitable crazy trick that Joseph will have to pull to defeat Cars. How does one defeat a being that has no weakness? Truly it is a job beyond the realm of mere mortals, but Joseph Joestar is a magician of the highest order. All the misdirection and naughty tricks we’ve seen up to this point? Child’s play! I am guessing that Joseph’s final victory will be an awe-inspiring feat the likes of which we will all remember even when we are old and shitting ourselves half the day. It will be the type of memory we gladly take to the grave. Children? Who wants to remember those losers? I’d rather keep Joseph Joestar’s greatest win as my final memory.
One last thing: The flashback of Elizabeth “Lisa Lisa” Joestar’s time with George Joestar kinda cracked me up. Not because of anything involving them, though; Lisa Lisa straight up slaughtering that vampire is pretty dope, and getting a glimpse of Joseph’s pops is neat, too. No, it’s mostly the scenario of a vampire general that’s hilarious. “Well, he doesn’t let us see his face, and he never goes outside except during the night, but damn it, he’s a great leader!” My dream scenario is that he actually worked his way up to general in the Royal Air Force from scratch. That’s actually a cunning vampire! He’s initially shunned by his peers because he refuses to go out during the day, but through sheer hard work and guts, he earns their respect and rises to a position of leadership. That general made vampires everywhere proud.
Also, the next episode has killer fish! GET HYPE.