BU– oh. Oh my. I wish my poses were that beautiful.
Now were are introduced to the three pillar men whom I assume are at the top of the food chain. If I am tentative, it’s because I’ve been wrong about both Straits and Santana being major villains. I feel as if I should be waiting for Joseph and Caesar to go to the fuckin’ moon or something and find pillar man Alan Parsons hanging out with the obelisk from 2001: A Space Odyssey. I’d say taking a trip to the moon is the only way JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure could possibly get crazier, but we all know that’s not true. To believe that is to woefully underestimate this story. In “Battle Tendency” we have gone from gangsters to vampires to Nazis to Ultimate Beings. We have but scratched the surface of pulp fiction, my friends.
Oh, these pillar men. They have probably the most ridiculous names yet. Their leader is named Cars even though he probably doesn’t know what cars are (or new wave, for that matter). The second in command is named AC/DC, which is a dynamite name for sure. And then there’s Wham, who probably has my favorite name in the series so far. It’s a musical reference and one of the main sound effects in this anime. Neat! I also love Wham’s peculiar trait of lashing out at anyone who steps on his shadow. I’m not even sure how you sense that, but I’m not an Ultimate Being, so what do I know? Also, I will eat my hat if that is not used against Wham at some point during a battle. (Note: I have no hat.)
Random note: The pillar men are searching for what I thought was the Red Stone of Asia, which could have been a reference to the band Asia, which features band members from King Crimson, Yes and Emerson, Lake & Palmer. However, the JoJo wiki indicates that it’s the Red Stone of Aja, which is also a musical reference (Aja is a Steely Dan album). The hidden depths of JoJo musical references are truly vast.
If there’s one thing the pillar men are great at so far, it’s making me squirm and feel sorry for Nazis. Good lord! This reminds me a lot of the aftermath of the Indoor Fish attack in Hunter x Hunter a while back. By all rights this man should not be alive, and yet here he is, even with half his face blown away. Only the sweet embrace of Caesar’s
chest ripple can bring comfort to him. And it’s not like a big chunk of this guy has been ripped off; rather, it’s more like it was melted away, which to me is creepier. That also leads to the other superbly creepy image in this episode: All the empty husks of human skin left over from that initial attack on the Nazis by the pillar men. Blowing people up into chunks of meat and organ is gross, but there’s something all the more disturbing about seeing something recognizably human but warped into something inhuman. Icky.
No matter how awesome Caesar is upon first appearance and how impressive his bubble attack is, I can’t imagine that this attack on three pillar men will go all too well, though it also would not surprise me if he got a few hits in before ultimately getting curb stomped.
And UGH there’s just too much to write about in this episode (as per usual with JoJo), so I shall end this with PIGEON VIOLATION. I feel quite sorry for the poor woman involved in this mess — first she is controlled by Caesar’s ripple (which is a creepy idea in and of itself), and then she has a pigeon stuffed into her mouth by Joseph so that he can get one up on Caesar. Also, this poor bird is stuffed into two people’s mouths. Pigeons are funny! What did they ever do to people?! (Aside from shit on their cars, that is.)