It was pretty crazy when Carlos Santana got tired of playing “Smooth” for the millionth time and did this to Rob Thomas one year at Lollapalooza.
So, wow, this might be the one episode so far where I am somewhat glad it was censored all to hell. There’s so much seriously gross action and imagery in this episode that I barely know where to begin! Maybe with the shot above? Santana is, right off the bat (pun not intended), a strange vampire. Perhaps I’ve been reading all the wrong stories, but I’ve never seen one with his particular abilities before. It doesn’t feel wrong, though; in fact, it probably makes sense that he differs from the garden variety vampires created by way of the masks. This is probably the difference between those pseudo-vampires and a “natural” vampire (presuming, of course, that Santana wasn’t turned into a vampire himself due to a mask — you never know). But, yes, Santana is the sort of vampire who can manipulate his body to the degree that he can squeeze through air vents and plunge into faces.
You’d think the more traditional vampire power of morphing into mist would be more convenient for that sort of thing, but there is one disadvantage to that power: It’s not nearly as gross as forcing yourself into a human face and then expanding his body to a grotesque degree. It’s also not nearly as conducive to mass amounts of bloodshed.
Santana’s phasing power is interesting, too, and also leads to quite the disgusting moment where Santana absorbs the attacking vampire into his being, ripping the creatures arms and jaw clean off, and, I think, tearing the other vampire’s chest open. It was tough to tell exactly what was happening since the scene was crazy censored (though still quite horrifying to watch, because I could still imagine very well what was occurring). Makes me wonder how Joseph could possibly defeat him, but we really don’t know yet how the Ripple will interact with Santana’s abilities. We do know from Dio and Jonathan’s battles that there are ways for vampires to counter the Ripple, so even though Joseph has been ripping through opponents at an astonishing rate so far, I don’t think a fight against Santana will be particularly easy. But, hey, I didn’t think the battle against Straits would go like it did, either!
Ever since a certain someone pointed out in “Phantom Blood” that the characters poses resembled voguing, I can’t get it out of my head when characters stand around the way they tend to do in JoJo. Look at that weird stretch the vampire is doing there. Who does that?! A JoJo character, that’s who. Also, I had a laugh when Santana came to life naked except for some vampiric briefs. I am too lazy at the moment to hunt down the manga image, but is he wearing the underoos in the manga, or is his bulbous vampire dong flopping about? Inquiring minds want to know! Or maybe it’s just me. Probably just me.
There are almost too many strange images in this episode to write about. Take this fisheye shot of Stroheim laughing at Santana, for instance. It’s a weird image, but it also says a lot about Stroheim: You see how warped and maniacal he is, a twisted leader through and through (although his actions and words also convey this plenty, haha). It also shows how petty and full of hubris he is, though his laughter and general mockery of Santana before he even does anything is indicative of that as well. Oh, those Nazis, always ready to proclaim their superiority!
And I would of course be remiss if I didn’t bring up big sexy “Tequila Joseph” somewhere in this post. Obviously Nazis have no concept of physical beauty. Who wouldn’t want some of that?! My body is ready for your Ripple, JoJo~