14 CommentsFirst Impressions / By Shinmaru /

I Wanna Be the Strongest 1 – Cabellera Contra Cabellera!!

i-wanna-be-the-strongest-sleeper-hold

Should’ve put her in the Sharpshooter and had a torrent of blood flowing down her forehead for those juicy Stone Cold Steve Austin at WrestleMania XIII parallels!

This is basically as expected — super trashy pro wrestling with idols!! — but in a weird sort of way. Everyone knows pro wrestling is staged (sorry if you’re like 10 years old and I just ruined the illusion for you), but in the world of this anime it seems to be totally real? Or maybe Rio’s just turning this into a shoot fight. (Wrasslin’ speak for when the staged fight suddenly becomes real. I’m using it so you know how knowledgeable I am!) I’m pretty sure that even in Japan, where the wrestle fighting is a bit rougher and more hard-hitting than what you’ll see in the WWE or whatever, it’s generally known that the wrestlers are putting on a show and that the results are pre-determined. But I suppose that’s a bit complicated for this series!

I haven’t regularly watched pro wrestling in a few years, but I was a huge fan back in the day, and when I was in college I became a huge hipster and watched a ton of Japanese pro wrestling. When I watched, women’s wrestling was often seen as a joke outside of rare occasions (not sure if that perception has shifted at all recently); however, in glorious Nippon, the best examples of women’s wrestling are generally fucking bananas. Actually I’d say that in their own way they’re even crazier than the men — they don’t do quite as many of the big, flashy moves, but they make up for it by beating the absolute piss out of each other. (If, for whatever reason, you are suddenly interested, I think I recall this match in particular being pretty good. All these ladies are god damn crazy. It’s actually kind of scary.)

wanna-be-the-strongest-surfboard

Not gonna lie, I got some good laughs out of how this first episode plundered the vast repertoire of wrestling submissions for cheesecake shots. The Mexican Surfboard!! The Camel Clutch!! The half-crab and the Boston Crab!! I’m not even sure what the hell was going on when Rio was stretching Sakura like crazy and giving the paparazzi an eyeful. I’m not certain how those close-ups of Sakura’s labia are supposed to be super hot sexy times, but perhaps my sexual tastes are just not refined enough to appreciate the fine art of shoving a camera between a lady’s legs. I’m not nearly classy enough for this, really. That said, I look forward to the coming weeks where we’ll see cheesecake shots brought on by the Walls of Jericho (WCW version, not WWF/E version), the Anaconda Vice and the Crippler Crossface.

My favorite part of the episode, though, is the random guy watching everything on TV who inexplicably knows what a “Cabellera contra Cabellera” match is. Does he watch a ton of lucha libre in his spare time?? Bring that guy back for when this series goes for the mascara contra mascara match in the finale. Actually, wait, my favorite part is when the wrestler who clearly hates the pop idol and wants to embarrass her gives the idol a haircut that arguably makes her look cuter. How DARE you desecrate the grand tradition of the hair vs. hair match! You’re supposed to shave the opponent’s head!! FUCKING DROPPED

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14 Comments

  1. Posted October 6, 2013 at 9:42 pm | Permalink

    A Good Post™.

  2. Posted October 6, 2013 at 10:41 pm | Permalink

    Didn’t understand a word from this entry. Werestling is shit anyway, and wrestler characters in fighting videogames are the worst.
    But yeah, the haircut part was riculous, one of Sakura’s colleagues has hair even shorter than that and she is able to be aidoru without problems.
    Gonna watch the whole series when blu-ray comes out, censoring the tits bugs me.

    • Nagisa33
      Posted October 6, 2013 at 11:51 pm | Permalink

      I too was confused by the post. I’m not going to watch this series though.

  3. MaxonTreik
    Posted October 6, 2013 at 11:14 pm | Permalink

    Just read Ring x Mama instead of watching this. It has a slightly less terrible plot and it is actually porn.

    • Adreme
      Posted October 6, 2013 at 11:22 pm | Permalink

      I think that is basically the perfect review for this anime and that’s kind of depressing when you say go watch the porn for a better story.

    • Jeevas
      Posted October 6, 2013 at 11:56 pm | Permalink

      and it’s already scamp’s favourite manga

  4. NormalMar
    Posted October 7, 2013 at 4:58 am | Permalink

    I think you just made up the names of those wrestlin moves

    • Shinmaru
      Posted October 7, 2013 at 5:10 am | Permalink

      I should have made up one to see if anyone would spot it.

  5. Shikamaru
    Posted October 7, 2013 at 12:00 pm | Permalink

    So the heel wrestler always stays in character? Or maybe she is just huge douchebag. The fact that in this show pro wrestling is real just blows my mind. How does that even work? The match was full of rest holds and it ended with sleeper hold. Why not pedigree, stunner, F5, or something other than sleeper hold. Pro wrestling isn’t real, that’s why this doesn’t work at all. I don’t even know what to say anymore.

    Sad thing is people are already waiting for the next episode for some reason. You know that there is hentai or porno out there? Why watch this garbage. If anything the constant moaning was really annoying. One of the stupidest things I have ever seen. Where’s Vince Russo when you need him?

    • Aethelwulf
      Posted October 8, 2013 at 4:44 am | Permalink

      You have a good point about the rest holds– I know next to nothing about wrestling (though I have done a little stage combat) and even I was surprised at the number of moves they were doing that wouldn’t actually hurt in real life.

  6. Someone Else
    Posted October 9, 2013 at 3:09 pm | Permalink

    I actually didn’t thought that there will ever be an anime that cater to Ryona fans as much as this. I’m not a fan of that though

  7. K
    Posted October 10, 2013 at 2:41 am | Permalink

    I’m just going to smile and nod while pretending to know what you’re talking about.

    • Kioku from Laptop
      Posted October 13, 2013 at 9:21 pm | Permalink

      I second this as I giggle while reading the post slash the names of the moves.

  8. R1CK_D0M
    Posted October 15, 2013 at 8:27 pm | Permalink

    should totally have shaved her head. then we could have a cueball heroine, like breaking bad

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