Director: Hello and welcome Amagami SS anime production team. Right time to do a quick role call. Do we have seasoned veteran of eroge adaptations?
Veteran: Yes yes, I’m here
Director: Good. Do we have the animator in charge of hair blowing in the wind at opportune moments?
Animator: Yup
Director: Great. We also have the newbie with us today.
Newbie: umm…h-hello
Director: Great! Let’s get started on this first episode of Amagami SS
Director: Right, let’s get the bad news out of the way first. There’s a new law in place that we have to give the lead male character some semblance of personality.
Veteran: What? But we never needed that before! How will the audience be able to project themselves into the main character if he has a personality?
Director: I know, but there’s nothing we can do about it. Might as well get it out of the way in the very first scene. Just give him a hastily concocted backstory that any teenage boy should have. Any suggestions?
Newbie: H-how about he was turned down for a date?
Director: Sounds great. We’ll make it happen on Christmas Eve to add extra punch.
Animator: I suggest not showing his eyes for the entire opening scene. Makes it easier for the audience to project themselves into a faceless character.
Director: Right, with that out of the way, we can get onto what we really want to animate. Tell us newbie. What should every eroge adaptation start off with.
Newbie. ohgodIknowthisoneeerrrr.……ummm.……Girl running to school with toast in her mouth?
Director: No no, that’s when the main character is a girl. Tell him Veteran.
Veteran: The main character is woken up by his clingy younger sister with a squeaky voice who is intent on jumping into bed with him. Also I would like to add that she should have a nickname for him.
Director: Right, I suppose we should introduce the perverted best friend right about now.
Newbie: But which girl is he going to perv on? We’ve only introduced the sister?
Director: Well then I suppose it will have to be her then.
Veteran: Can we start introducing the girls now? Otaku might start getting bored already and switch over to PreCure.
Director: Good point. How about the popular Senpai who the main character thinks he has no chance with.
Newbie: Shouldn’t we do something m-m-more to bring out why people like her?
Animator: How about I make her hair blow in the wind while she holds her hand behind her head with a sunset in the background?
Director: Nah, it’s still the morning so we can’t do that. How about some stencil mark things?
Director: Right, I can’t wait any longer. Time to introduce the character we’ve all bee waiting for.
Animator and Veteran: SEX HAIR!!!
Newbie: err…d-does she have some sort of personality?
Director: What? She has sex hair. What does she need a personality for?
Newbie: I-I-I think she should have some sort of personality. How about I base her off this girl I knew in school?
Veteran: Which eroge archetype does she fall into?
Newbie: W-w-well I suppose she’s the loud friend-zone character
She had the only remotely believable personality
Director: Right, now we need the younger girl the main character protects.
Newbie: But didn’t we already have the sister?
Director: She wasn’t the type you want to protect. We need someone extremely shy.
Veteran: With an extremely squeaky annoying voice! All characters younger than the male character require to sound like they’ve got blocked noses while speaking in helium induced tones.
Director: Exactly! Glad to have you aboard Veteran.
Newbie: But why would all these girls like the main character?
Veteran: Because he’s a nice guy. Everyone likes to think they’re nice people so it’s easy to project yourself into those situations.
Director: No, I think he has a point. He needs some other point of attraction that the viewers can easily project themselves into. How about he has nice eyes?
Animator: Wait, you can’t do that! I’ve already completed his character design.
Director: Oh don’t worry, he doesn’t actually need to have nice eyes. That’s the great thing about eyes. Nobody is capable of defining what nice eyes are so any eyes can be considered nice.
Director: Right, I think it’s high time we start dipping into out box of typical awkwardly romantic situations the main character can get into with these characters.
Veteran: Trapped in a gym locker room?
Director: Nah, too early for that
Animator: How about the library scene where he knocks over the girl and she falls to the ground in a position that you can almost but not quite see her undies while going ‘eeh dtchaaa~’
Veteran: This is clearly not enough fan service. We need nakedness ASAP.
Director: But we’re not on a timeslot that allows for nakedness to be shown unfortunately.
Animator: A bath scene then. I’ve gotten quite good at conveniently placed steam.
Director: Great, but to add extra spice it should be with another girl. How about the Senpai wants to get closer to his sister?
Newbie: umm…
Veteran: Sounds great. He could imagine a scene where they feel each others boobs to make them grown bigger
Newbie: I’m pretty sure girls don’t do th–
Director: That’s brilliant! Quick Animator! Go do that scene now!
Newbie: Wait…why would the audience want to see their sister naked?
Veteran: …what?
Newbie: If the the audience are projecting themselves into the main character, then surely this scene is like the viewers getting turned on by their sister naked. Isn’t that weird?
Director: Do you have a sister?
Newbie: Yes…wait, I mean no!
Animator: Quick, get him off the set!
Veteran: What were you thinking director, hiring someone like him!
Newbie: She’s just a step sister!
Director: I’m sorry, I forgot to ask. Big mistake on my part.
Newbie: Wait, there are other characters I can work on! Please, I like the Senpai character archetype.
Veteran: We have no place for the likes of you on this production. Go back to Noitamina you scum. Leave now and never come back!
22 Comments
Is there good hair porn?
If not, I’m going to watch Pokeymanz.
…I wonder what hair porn entails…
From the way you know these tropes so well, though, I can really feel your love for the genre. I just hope this eventually meets your expectations.
Me, I’m sticking around for Kaoru. Would’ve turned it off after the first “nii-nii” otherwise.
I’m in the same boat as Newbie. I am a hearty supporter but gets confused at a certain number of the tropes
Aw damn, all these shows are turning about baaaad ;3; I’m still watching ;D
Nah, it’s probably just me being my usual harsh self
It had the line “Nii-nii no Baka!” in it, you’re spot on with the criticism.
lololol that was hilarious, i watched the episode only till the standard sister scene and closed it. They could these time slots to give drrr a new season or something but nooooo we need the eroge shit.
haaah,life’s so depressing
It didn’t get any better after that sister scene. It didn’t get worse either though, so I suppose that’s something to be relieved about
I’m seriously considering that they actually had this talk!
I’ve seen what some of the discussion rooms look like. The only difference is they’d be politer to each other.
Mmm. Something to look forward to…
You know Scamp, shame on me for forgetting momentarily that you are quite hilarious.
It’s posts like these that got me to bookmark your site to begin with.
Indeed, shame on you.
(although I can only write these types of posts when I dislike the anime. Which would require me to watch more anime I dislike. Which I dislike doing. Catch 22. Or something)
best first impressions post ever. I knew this show would blow, and now I’m glad I never watched it.
Yeah, I wasn’t going to watch this, ‘cuz I can’t stand harem shows. This review explains precisely why.
The follow-up post better show Scamp taking over for newbie. You have a sister! You’re qualified!
I don’t quite fit Newbie’s role. Notice it was only a step-sister. His mother died when he was very young. His dad married another women but she never cared for him. He never felt the love of an older women, which is why he has a soft spot for the older sempai characters.
Yeah, I really put my heart and soul into developing these characters
This post was a lot more entertaining than the actual episode. I did get a good laugh out of the beginning, though. So ridiculously emo, unless his date skipped out of him to shoot up his family or something.
Maybe we just caught the guy at the wrong moment. Most of his dreams involve him flying around in Gundams in space. Just on this one day he was wondering why the girl stood him up.
Nicely done! And I know you’ve mentioned it before, but it really is only people who don’t have a younger sister who like the imouto archetype. It probably is a litmus test for new employees like ‘newbie.’
There certainly were plenty of tropes going on, the flag trigger scene and the generic best friend chief among them. I’m still confident in the series though, since Kimi Kiss started out with a few of these but then dispensed with them later. It’s almost like they had to fill a quota to be allowed to adapt the story, so they decided to get it all out of the way at the start.
Well not having watched Kimi Kiss I can’t argue your statement, but this episode really felt like it was a bunch of people sitting in a room throwing together typical elements from eroge adaptations. There was not one single piece of ingenuity. None whatsoever. That totally kills any sort of hopes I had for this anime
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