Narrator: Once upon a time, there was a narrator who ruined the plot for the proceeding episode by telling you roughly what happens even before the strangely catchy opening song has played. But that’s OK because these are all fairy tales you should know anyway. Of course a cleverer way of doing this would be to leave it up to the audience to figure out what fairy tale is being told in this episode for themselves, but this anime is clearly aimed at 8 year old girls who wouldn’t be able to piece it together for themselves, right? Now here’s the that strangely catchy opening song I mentioned earlier.
doodledoodledoodledoodle deeeee doo deeeee doo deeeee do diddledundundun deeeee doo deeeee doo deeeee do diddledundundun deeeee doo deeeee doo deeeee do diddledundundun deeeee doo deeeee doo deeh doodledooodledoodle duh!
Duck: Man, what happened in the last episode sure was interesting. I better spend the first few minutes mulling over what happened. I’ll probably come to the conclusion that I’m just a duck so it doesn’t matter, or that I better continue trying to find the heart shards for Mewtwo. He’s so dreamy! I just love effeminate male versions of a damsel in distress with no discernible personality. But enough of that, I better go to school.
Duck: Oh look, it’s my extremely unsupportive friends! I wonder if they’re going to say anything new, or shall they continue down the path of non-playable characters who say the exact same thing no matter what period of the game you talk to them in.
Friends: Duck you really suck at everything but we still like you anyway. Now go confess your love for Mewtwo
Duck: Ah well, I wonder if any of these other NPC’s will change what they sa-
Mr.Cat: If you girls don’t do what you’re told then I’ll have you marry me!
Duck: I guess not
Friends: By the way, did you hear of that fairy tale in this town?
Duck: Yes, it was mentioned already in the episode preview before the opening. What about it?
Friends: ….oh Duck, you really suck at everything but we still like you anyway
Duck: Oh look at that pretty girl. Don’t remember seeing her before…oh wait, that’s Mewtwo. And he’s talking to one of the only other two characters in this show with some semblance of personality. I’m going to go try eavesdrop on what they’re saying.
Fakir/Rue and Mewtwo: blah blah blah plot from the last episode blah blah blah don’t you go doing this thing blah blah blah
Duck: Well that revealed nothing new. In fact, this entire episode has come to a bit of a standstill, doing the exact same things that every other episode has done thus far. Surely the audience must be getting bored by this stage. Oh wait never mind, here comes Miss Walking Deus Ex Machina!
Miss Walking Deus Ex Machina: Hi there. I’m now going to talk in some sort of thinly disguised riddle that is actually telling you to go to the point that your friends mentioned earlier in the episode. Really, you should try take the hint by now
Duck: Thank you Miss Walking Deus Ex Machina, but instead I think I’ll go mull over stuff like I usually do. Besides I’m just a duck and stuf- oh wait a second! Through some sequence of events I just found out that the damsel is in distress yet again. I better go save her…I mean him. But what am I supposed to do? You would have though Miss Walking Deus Ex Machina would have given me a tool that I could use to take out the badguy and restore the heartshard but I guess not. Whatever shall I do?
Viewer: But isn’t that what happens every single time?
Drosselmeyer: Well yes, but I can’t change it. It would alienate my audience. Children like repetition.If she didn’t transform into Princess Tutu at exactly the 16 minute mark of every single episode I would get complaints from the parents.
Viewer: I read on an internet forum that this show is extremely popular amongst young adults
Drosselmeyer: What, really? That’s nonsense! I haven’t put in a single giant robot or booby jiggle. I bet they’re all young girls pretending to be older than they are. Kids these days are whizzes on the internet you know. Anyway, she’s still changing into Princess Tutu. Look, I’ve started the transformation sequence and everything.
Villain-of-the-week: But no, I am being afflicted by whatever piece of emotion belongs to Mewtwo this week. How will dancing help anyway?
Princess Tutu: Just dance anyway. It always manages to solve the problem somehow. I dunno, I don’t write the story.
Viewer: Aw man, I love ballet! I wonder what types of moves they will showcase? I’m very much a newbie when it comes to ballet. I couldn’t tell the difference between a demi plie and a pirouette to save my life. But that’s ok, this show should explain some of the things going on. They never explain what’s going on in the actual classes themselves but maybe they were saving if for the battles. I am very excite
Tutu twiddles her hands above her head for a bit
Kraehe spins on the spot a few times
Tutu does some sort of flying leap
Kraehe arches back and then stumbles
Princess Kraehe: You have defeated me Princess Tutu, but next time you won’t be so lucky
Mewtwo: I would probably be much less of a damsel in distress if I was voiced by Dan Green like the real Mewtwo
::Note:: While I have picked up Princess Tutu for the ‘no anime is dropped forever‘ posts, this is not the final review. That will go up once I’ve completed the series. Also, as much as I might make fun of it here, it has started to grow on me in its own strange way