29 CommentsFavourite and Forgotten, Hopefully Humorous / By Scamp /

2001 Anime: Scryed/s-CRY-ed/SUCKURYDOH/Kazuma punches things

Kazuma wakes up. Kazuma gets out of bed. Kazuma realises that he has gotten out of the wrong side of the bed. This makes Kazuma angry.

Kazuma punches wall.

The wall of the house that Kazuma and his sister live in falls down. Now Kazuma needs to get money to buy a new wall. Kazuma’s friend says he has a job for him that will earn him money. It involves taking out members of the evil organisation Holy.

Kazuma punches friend.

Kazuma and his friend goes to where Holy have enslaved a bunch of the locals. The locals can’t escape because Holy have an Alter User there, who has magical powers and will kill them if they escape. The Holy members there are comicly evil, beating the civilians when they’re not too busy picking dead babies out from between their teeth. This makes Kazuma angry.

Kazuma punches Holy member.

Holy hears that one of their men have been attacked. They send a squad out to investigate. This squad includes the powerful alter user Ryuhou and some blue haired chick who never does anything useful because girls in the world of Scryed are basically useless at everything. Ryuhou arrives at the scene and sees the wreckage that Kazuma has caused. This makes Ryuhou angry. Kazuma catches sight of Ryuhou and sees that he’s a member of Holy. This makes Kazuma angry.

Kazuma punches Ryuhou.

This makes Ryuhou angry. Ryuhou brings out his alter and bitch slaps Kazuma. This makes Kazuma realise that he’s not strong enough to beat Ryuhou in his current state. This makes Kazuma angry. Kazuma goes to a magical forest that he thinks will make him stronger for no adequately explored reason. In the forest he sees a black and white man.

Kazuma punches man.

Kazuma is sent flying by the shock. His punch was ineffective. This makes Kazuma angry. Now Kazuma needs to come up with a different tactic to defeat this monster.

Kazuma punches man.

The punch does nothing. Kazuma starts to realise that he is hopeless to resist this awesome power. This makes Kazuma angry. His life flashes before his eyes. He will never protect his sister from the might of Holy. He is destined to live a life in destitute poverty until Holy sees it fit to end his pitiful existence.

Kazuma punches man.

The punch still does nothing. Kazuma starts to doubt his own existence. This makes Kazuma angry. Punching is his reason for living. It’s how he identifies himself as a person. Without that he has nothing.

Kakuma punches man.

For some reason it works this time, and now Kazuma gets a magical upgrade that means he can punch things even more now. But while he was wasting time, Ryuhou was thinking about Kazuma. This makes Ryuhou angry. Ryuhou goes to the house Kazuma lives in, but Kazuma isn’t there, only Kazuma’s sister. This makes Ryuhou angry. Ryuhou destroys Kazuma’s house. Kazuma comes home in time to see Ryuhou destroy his house. This makes Kazuma angry. Ryuhou sees Kazuma. This makes Ryuhou angry.

Kazuma punches Ryuhou.

Ryuhou punches Kazuma.

EXPLOSHUN!

Kazuma is wandering around the wilderness. He doesn’t know what to do. This makes Kazuma angry. He meets MOTHER FUCKING STRAIGHT COUGAR BITCHES. Straight Cougar stands there being awesome. He juts out his magnificent chin and tells Kazuma to get a grip.

Kazuma punches Straight Cougar.

However Kazuma misses because he tried to punch MOTHER FUCKING STRAIGHT COUGAR BITCHES. Meanwhile Ryuhou has contracted plot convenient amnesia and is now a good guy who is friends with Kazuma’s sister. The members of Holy are now also good guys because they’re with Ryuhou. However the story now needs a villain even more stupidly evil than Holy, so they introduce a psychotic lunatic who nobody would ever listen to and make him the most powerful guy ever. The villain then captures Kazuma’s sister. This makes Kazuma angry. This also makes Ryuhou angry. They agree to go to the city to rescue her.

Kazuma punches Ryuhou.

Kazuma comes up to the great walls of the city, representing the disconnect between the upper classes that live in luxury versus his life in the outer city slums.

Kazuma punches wall.

In the desolate city, where all life has been chased off by the psychotic villain, Kazuma finds a kitten. The kitten is alone and cold, reminding him of his harsh upbringing and his loneliness and isolation due to his phenomenal power.

Kazuma punches kitten.

Kazuma confronts the psychotic villain. Kazuma’s sister is in a chair with wires coming out of her like the end scene in Metropolis. This makes Kazuma angry. The villain boasts about his ultimate power and how unbeatable he is.

Kazuma punches villain.

The world is saved. No more ridiculously evil people. Only the marginally less evil Holy, who agree that capturing and enslaving civilians was probably not a good idea. Kazuma is finally re-united with his sister. Kazuma’s sister runs towards him with tears in her eyes and her arms open to embrace her courageous brother for whom she never lost faith in.

Kazuma punches sister.

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29 Comments

  1. luffyluffy
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 4:17 pm | Permalink

    Best show of the decade, am I right?

  2. Posted November 20, 2012 at 4:22 pm | Permalink

    Yep, pretty good show! Lots of punching and manliness!

  3. Hogart
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 4:28 pm | Permalink

    At least they realized if the MC is just going to punch everyone like the blandest shounen MC ever, it might as well be his superpower. And if he’s got to be angsty and angry, it might as well be his motivation for punching everything. So that was alright.

    And to be fair, MOTHERFUCKING STRAIGHT COUGAR made everything better anyway even when he just stood there.

    Shame they had to nearly fuck everything up by tossing in Ryuhou and his blue-haired barnacle.

    • Scamp
      Posted November 20, 2012 at 5:27 pm | Permalink

      Ryuhou is not so bad when he’s being Kazuma mark 2 by being really angry all the time

  4. Posted November 20, 2012 at 4:32 pm | Permalink

    Well, that’s one show I don’t have to watch anymore!

  5. Moomba
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 4:49 pm | Permalink

    I’m getting mixed signals here. Does this mean I should watch it or not?

    • Scamp
      Posted November 20, 2012 at 5:28 pm | Permalink

      Nah. Punching things is cool but the writing is so bland and uninspired. All the dialogue is trite “no you are the one who shall be defeated” rubbish. It’s not even the EVOL/TTGL esque inspired dumb dialogue. It’s just bad.

    • Camario
      Posted November 24, 2012 at 3:18 am | Permalink

      Depends. The fights are actually pretty entertaining in terms of powers/moves, the direction is stylish and the OP/ED plus BGM tracks are rather nice.

      I would say It’s worth a watch if you want a show that knows it’s all about angry people fighting and not about the great mysteries of life.

      Also, while the dialogue isn’t particularly good most of the time, I’d say some of the situations the characters find themselves in are interesting or amusing. Even if -or especially because- it usually comes down to punching someone.

      On that note, the final battle is a very good spectacle.

  6. Kioku
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 5:05 pm | Permalink

    Scamp returns to see comments regarding one of his more recent posts.

    Scamp punches monitor.

    • fathomlessblue
      Posted November 20, 2012 at 5:20 pm | Permalink

      Scamp realises his distain for shoujo is due to the fear of letting love into his heart.

      Scamp punches heart.

      • Scamp
        Posted November 20, 2012 at 5:30 pm | Permalink

        Scamp tries to come up with something to say. Scamp fails. This makes Scamp angry.

        Scamp punches keyboard

  7. Posted November 20, 2012 at 5:11 pm | Permalink

    I love the part where Kazuma punches someone! But no, seriously, this is one of the few shounen fighters I’ve really enjoyed–and it’s largely because the whole show is just so camp and… to-the-point.
    My #1 suggestion though is that Scryed must be watched English dubbed–there’s just not much point in watching it otherwise. All the voice actors really ham it up in English, making it that much funnier. (YMMV)

    • Scamp
      Posted November 20, 2012 at 5:33 pm | Permalink

      I watched it dub, but that’s largely because the Japanese voice actors really seemed to phone it in. The english ones were bad, but at least they had effort

  8. Name?
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 5:15 pm | Permalink

    Sounds stupid.

    I’m more into kicking, have you got one with kicking?

    • Scamp
      Posted November 20, 2012 at 5:29 pm | Permalink

      Kazuma kicks you

  9. Posted November 20, 2012 at 6:19 pm | Permalink

    Scamp, you seem irritated throughout this post. Why are you so punchy?

  10. Posted November 20, 2012 at 6:27 pm | Permalink

    Woah there Scamp. You’re about to turn green and rip you shirt.

  11. R1CK_D0M
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 6:40 pm | Permalink

    /punch

    • Scamp
      Posted November 20, 2012 at 9:58 pm | Permalink

      *is angry

      /punch

  12. Fadeway
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 6:43 pm | Permalink

    The only thing this in-depth critique lacks is witty alt-image text to liven things up. It irritates me. I think I shall go watch some punching.

  13. Posted November 20, 2012 at 6:50 pm | Permalink

    I can’t quite put my finger on why, but Kazuma sounds like a person with anger management issues.

  14. Karry
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 7:35 pm | Permalink

    “Kazuma punches kitten.”

    Crap, compared to punching a motherfucking SWORD !
    Uh…i wish i remember what show that was…

    • Scamp
      Posted November 20, 2012 at 10:02 pm | Permalink

      I asked twitter and they said Godannar

  15. Kiseki
    Posted November 20, 2012 at 10:16 pm | Permalink

    Too many punchlines.

  16. Posted November 21, 2012 at 3:03 am | Permalink

    You forgot about that one guy with the balls.

    Kazuma punches his balls.

  17. matrixEXO
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 8:03 am | Permalink

    Scamp. Try “Kazuma, Punch!” next time. See if it works better.

  18. Gunslinger
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 5:55 pm | Permalink

    Damn that was hilarious. Now i actually feel bad for having liked this show. Punches self.

    • Camario
      Posted November 24, 2012 at 3:27 am | Permalink

      I’d punch you for feeling ashamed about it.

      Not really, but you know what I mean.

      I still like the series for what it was.

  19. Mr.RR
    Posted November 22, 2012 at 7:43 am | Permalink

    Oh my that was quite hilarious and accurate.

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