I can understand why you may have decided not to watch Aquarion EVOL. It’s a sequel to a show made in the early 00’s that wasn’t particularly well received. Even if the sequel is set 12,000 years into the future, it probably wasn’t worth checking out. Let me tell you now, as a person who never watched the original Aquarion, that EVOL is glorious. Gloriously stupid, gloriously cheesy, gloriously insane, full of the dumbest metaphors and overblown characters with fantastic speeches. Instead of trying to convince you to watch it with a review trying to talk about its positives in a vague fashion, I will instead list out a number of the things that occur during the series. Keep in mind that Aquarion EVOL does (almost) all of these things with a totally straight face. You may stop reading when you have been convinced.
1: When piloting the giant robots, the characters discover they can detect incoming missiles better the more skin they have exposed, so each pilot starts enthusiastically tearing off their plugsuits.
2: When the robots combine, the characters go into a sparkly otherworld where they fly through space naked while exclaiming how exhilarating the feeling of ‘combining’ is.
3: There is a character called Andy W. Hole. Because he’s an artist like Andy Warhol, except he uses holes to make his art.
4: A villain infiltrates their school to find information, but gets won over to the good guys side by the power of moe.
5: Each character gets buried underground as a form of intensive training, where they each go through an existential crisis.
6: One of the female’s boobs are routinely referred to as her “Big Bangs”.
7: When the lead male character gets really…into piloting the giant robot, he can unleash a special move called “Infinity Punch”, which is essentially a metaphorical erection.
8: There’s a scene where the adults are all in the Evangelion NERV style control room where each character tries to form a meaningful metaphor out of the doughnut they are holding.
9: It includes the line “I would rather have my body broken than my heart”.
10: The wall separating the male school and the female school is called the “Berlin”, which gets knocked down by the aforementioned “Infinity Punch” so the girls and boys can finally mix.
11: In the above mentioned sequence where the characters start tearing off their clothes to detect missiles better, the glasses-wearing piano-playing blonde-haired bishie, who is nowhere near the fight scene at the time, gets so into their overflowing energy that he too starts to button down his shirt.
12: The fujioshi character has a special power of ‘decaying’, which causes metal to rust when she’s in the giant robot.
13: A villain character, whose power is reversing other people’s’ powers back at them, constantly tells a girl that she stinks horribly and that he hates her and wants to kill her, but it turns out that this is because he talks in reverse and is actually hopelessly in love with her.
14: Andy W. Hol tries to chat up the girl whose power is to fill up holes by saying “let my dirt be the dirt to fill your hole”.
15: When the main character gets turned on, his ankles grow wings and he starts to fly. When one female character squeezes her boobs against him and he starts floating, the girl he was supposed to be hitting on sulks and says “so you’ll fly for anyone”.
16: This is called a cat.
17: So is this.
18: When the boss is away, instead of giving them simple orders in a letter or on the phone, he sends them a box with a doughnut and ants inside and forces them to work out what metaphor he’s saying today.
19: There’s an episode where the characters take a hot spring in the giant robots and the water is filled with bananas.
20: That moment where you discover the title of the show is Aquarion LOVE BACKWARDS.