41 CommentsLists / By Scamp /

10 Anime Moments of Suck 2013

kotoura-san_ep01-10December 26 is the worst day of the year because it is the furthest away from Christmas. So as is tradition, I shall use this most terrible of days to commemorate the worst moments in anime this year. I quite like writing this post, as did I enjoy writing 20122011 and 2010‘s versions, because they’re quite cathartic. This year I had a surprising number of contenders despite me not seeing as many anime as I did in 2012. In fact there were so many bad moments in anime this year that there were some anime I wanted to mention but couldn’t find the right moment in it that represented my dislike. Sorry Valvrave and Maou-sama. You were both bad anime that I watched a lot of and resent for having done so, but I couldn’t find the perfect scene in either to represent my dislike.

10: Boring giant walrus fight

Maoyuu-Maou-Yuusha-06-Large-24I finished a grand total of one anime series from the winter season this year, and that was Inferno Cop which barely counts. Maoyuu Maou Yuusha was the one that came with the most hype, being billed as the spiritual successor to Spice and Wolf. It had the same staff and same medieval romantic duo with economics except with macroeconomics rather than microeconomics. It ended up being terribly boring altogether, and the moment that summed this up most was the Knight’s fight with a giant walrus. It was a dramatic fight to the death between the leaders of warring factions with an absurdly powerful lady knight on one side and a giant walrus on the other, fought on a bridge of ice. Yet somehow it managed to make this scene boring. Commendable in a way, but was the final straw that made me drop the show.

9: Guillotine Gorilla

vlcsnap-2013-11-21-23h38m16s102The only moment you will see on both the best and the worst moments of the year. For as amazing as that moment was, it was also the moment Samurai Flamenco completely abandoned the story it was building and turned into complete nonsense. Ever since that moment it has been a different show, and a far worse show at that. It is the definitive anime jumping the shark moment. I am still waiting for the camera to pull back. It has to happen eventually. It just has to.

8: CG Battleship Girls

arpeggio5Arpeggio of Blue Steel was a new experience for me. It was the first time I had read the manga before the anime adaptation came out. I was determined not to be That Guy. The very kind of guy who I criticise for being manga purists. Arpeggio of Blue Steel is not a great manga. What I like about it comes more from the ideas that the execution. A good director, or even a half-decent director, could make massive improvements. So in swoops Seiji Kishi and a fully CG animated production that both looks awful, is terribly paced, has awful dialogue, and what they did try to change only ended up making the process worse. Thanks Kishi and thanks CG animation. You’ve made me into That Guy. The Arpeggio of Blue Steel manga is way better than the anime.

7: Walking Slowly

flowers-of-evil-walking-in-silenceI wish someone told the director of Flowers of Evil that more than one thing is allowed to happen in an episode. It’s too late now. Flowers of Evil has already been ruined. Not by the rotoscoping, as ugly as that animation method may be. By the fucking awful pacing. You could cut down what was given to us in Flowers of Evil to an acceptable 30 minute anime maybe. I know some people liked the scene of the lead two walking home very slowly, but for me that took the single best scene in possibly the entire year with the classroom destruction at the end of the previous episode and sapped away all the goodwill it had built up. I would call the 7 minute long walking scene a surprisingly good joke as a parody of self-important navel gazing artsy film bullshit but even for a joke it went on too long.

6: Rapist Trannies

[HorribleSubs] Suisei no Gargantia - 05 [720p].mkv_snapshot_13.49_[2013.05.05_20.48.21]Was there a spate of highly publicised sexual assault committed by transsexuals in Japan sometime in the 1970s? I can’t think of a better reason to explain how bafflingly common this trope is. Gargantia had a good premise, good start and good end but the middle was filled with so much vapid crap that it drained the enjoyment of the series overall. Not only did it seem like the writers weren’t talking to each other so the theme got completely muddled, its comedy went from unfunny to just plain offensive. It’s funny because Ledo got raped by trannies. Aren’t men who dress like women weird. They clearly do it because they want to have sex with men but I wouldn’t have sex with them because that would be gay so they rape you instead lol my sides.

5: Falling Off Buildings Gives You Colds

Galilei Donna - 04 - Large 18Possibly the most bizarre awful moment of the year came courtesy of Galilei Donna. If you haven’t seen it, in episode 4 the little girl falls off a 6 story high building. Not a light fall, like a proper crash and thump. So what happens, some broken bones? Nasty gashes on her leg or head? No instead she gets what appears to be a cold. Falling off a building gave her the dreaded anime cold where she had to lie in bed while someone put a wet towel on her forehead. Then she was cured by a tramp. In a way I’m not that mad about this scene because it now allows me to endlessly use the joke that when someone has a cold, it was clearly caused by them falling off a tall building. That’s what anime told me, so it must be true.

4: Hajime-su

gatchaman-crowds-laters-lolMy neeEEEEEeext moment-su comes in the FOOOOOOOoooOOOOORM of the single most anooooOOOying way of speaking I’ve ever had the UUUUUUNpleasant luck to come acrossssu. The way Hajime-su spoke was like living in that episOOOOODE in Kaiji where he had that drill boring into his earsu. It wasn’t until a month or so AAAAAAAaaaaAAAAAfter Gatchaman Crowds ended and I saw someone end a tweet in -su and an involuntary spasm of hAAAAAAAAte shot through my body that I reEEeeealised how much that character had gotten UUUUUUUUuuunder my skinsu. This sEEEEEEEms to be a new thing for Kenji nAAAAAAAkamurasu. Tsuritama had characters jUUUUUUUst like this with Haru and he too dragged that anime downsu. As much as a lOOOOOOOOve his style, if Nakamura’s next anime has another character in the sAAAAAaaaaAAAAAAme vein then I’m just going to stoOOOOOoooop watching after the first episodesu.

3: Oh no you did exactly what I asked

Moritaniguilt_zpsc4b07b40There’s going to be a bit of a re-occurring theme with my top 3 moments. The first of which comes from Kotoura-san. Its first episode was a big shocker at the time. Completely unexpected manic depression isn’t what you normally expect from a 4-koma adaptation. I kinda knew that the shine would wear off Kotoura-san, but I wasn’t aware how quickly that would be. Asides from all the humour coming from sexually harassing Kotoura, how they decided to create dramatic tear-jerking drama was just awful. There was this one scene where a rival girl got jealous of Kotoura stealing this guy’s attention, so she told a bunch of thugs to beat up the guy. Then the thugs went and beat up the guy and told the girl what they had done. She said “oh no you beat up the guy I can’t believe this happened”. She told the fucking guys to do it now she’s acting like it came from nowhere? I don’t even know how you can write a scene like that and not instantly think “god I’m a bad writer, I should change that”.

2: Make my daughter happy

COPPELION02_21Keeping on this trend of absolutely terrible ways of creating tear-jerking drama, let’s turn out attention to one of the stupidest anime of the year. Now I know some dumber things involving stealth bombers happened later on in Coppelion, but I never reached that point. Instead I gave up in the episode involving the criminal family trying to raise a kid in the radiated area. The mother had just sacrificed herself to save the daughter. The daughter is understandably pretty disappointed her mum died so she asks her rescuers to save her remaining parent. They go off to save the dad and find him close to death. The rescuers tell the dad they can bring him back and save him but instead he goes “no, don’t save me, I just want my daughter to be happy”. So they leave him. I’m not sure about you guys, but something that would probably make me happy after my mum died is if you saved my dad, who I just specifically asked for you to save. But nope, gotta have completely fucking pointless tragedy because fuck logic we’re trying to be dramatic here.

1: Piggybacks forgive all

Kami-sama no Inai Nichiyoubi - 03 - Large 39The winner though goes to the end of the first arc for Sunday Without God. We have a little girl who was picked up by an older guy who repeatedly bullied her. Kicked her off bridges unceremoniously, hit her several times, and was generally a massive asshole to her. But then at the end of the arc it was revealed that he was her dad all along. He then gave her a piggyback ride, then he died and she cried. Never mind that he abandoned her for 12 years and was an asshole for the rest of the time they were together, it’s really sad because the little girl cried.

All throughout this year I’ve been slowly coming to terms with what it is I hate about these sorts of scenes. The one that really got to me two years ago was the end of Ano Hana where everyone randomly starting bawling crying and screeching why their sob story was the most tragic, no matter how poorly explained or trashy or generally stupid the reason was. People found it super emotional and made them cry, but when pushed for why it made them cry I heard a lot of people say “I’m not really sure why, all of them were crying so it got to me”. It’s such a lazy method of drawing emotion. People keep falling for this too, which is part of the reason why its been bugging me so much. I understand why. Seeing other people cry makes you cry too. That does not make it a good story. Stop falling for it. Please.

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41 Comments

  1. Posted December 26, 2013 at 11:08 am | Permalink

    Oh Come on, Hajime was the best thing about Gatchaman Crowds…..su~

    • Posted December 26, 2013 at 12:34 pm | Permalink

      Scamp is a noted hater of fun, so it’s not surprising to see it here.

      • Someone Else
        Posted December 27, 2013 at 4:39 am | Permalink

        I wonder if he owns anything that has a “no fun allowed” messaged somewhere

  2. Gan_HOPE326
    Posted December 26, 2013 at 11:59 am | Permalink

    Agree fully on what I call “the Warlus” (OH GOD MAOYU), Guillottine Gorilla and Suisei no Okamas. I had more tolerance for Aku no Hana’s slow pacing, I could have withstood it if they had had more than one cour. As it is, I’m angry at them for it if only because it led to them not managing to adapt the whole first arc of the comic (that is the only one worth reading anyway, from what I’ve seen).

  3. shytende
    Posted December 26, 2013 at 12:13 pm | Permalink

    My moment in Arpeggio was when all the team were going to be arrested by a military force (episode 3, I think), and I decided to drop because I realised I absolutely didn’t care about the characters.
    It’s not like R;N where I ended up hating all of them and whishing they all to die to put an end to this misery.

    I just… absolutely didn’t feel anything. You could replace all the characters with tin can, and I would have reacted the exact same way.

    In a way, that’s even worse than forced drama.

  4. Shikamaru
    Posted December 26, 2013 at 12:50 pm | Permalink

    I didn’t cry at Sunday Without God because the dad was an asshole. In Anohana I cried when Menma disappeared because I really liked Menma and Jintan and I wanted them to be together. I think that’s a good enough reason to cry. You have to like the characters if you don’t like them then obviously you can’t feel their emotions.

    I also cried while watching Little Busters Refrain when the “goodbye scene” happened. People might not know this but Little Busters is about friendship and not about romance. After you have completed all the girl routes you unlock Refrain where the 5 main characters have their own routes. It’s a story about 5 close friends having fun and then they have to say goodbye.

    I have watched anime over 8 years now and I have cried only 5 times. People are different. Some people are really sensitive and they cry really easily. It’s not their fault. That’s why I think it’s pointless to complain about it.

    • blackice85
      Posted December 26, 2013 at 4:38 pm | Permalink

      Agreed, the worst is when they fail to make you feel anything for the characters. Some character development can help overcome other problems, but if you don’t care about them, you can lose reason for watching at all.

  5. Cirith
    Posted December 26, 2013 at 1:21 pm | Permalink

    Top 3:
    3:I know a manga where a woman tells the girl who is in love with her to kill her abusive husband. When she has actually done it and they are on the run from the police she isn’t exactly happy about that either. And I think it makes sense, what you say when you are at an emotional deep point isn’t always what you would choose in your calmer moments. I haven’t watched Kotoura-san so I assume it makes no sense there, but it can make sense.

    2:Reminds me of SAO and the guy at the beginning who is all “no don’t give me a healing potion, I wanted to get a tiny advantage with my special knowledge and now that I have failed I feel super bad about it and will just die”
    Unecessary deaths aren’t dramatic, instead they are annoying since artificial drama is annoying. The same thing in Gravity which had a death based on a pretty obvious physic error, but I suppose I shouldn’t spoil the movie

    3: It worked for the fma:b funeral! But then the character wasn’t an asshole.

    3:

    • Gan_HOPE326
      Posted December 26, 2013 at 2:19 pm | Permalink

      Well, at the FMA:B funeral that you refer to that was just the cherry on top (also, she didn’t really cry, she was too small to understand and begun asking “Why are they putting dad under ground? He won’t be able to go to work anymore!”). The character was in general very likeable and arguably one of the most sympathetic and relatable in the whole cast. People usually simply get upset at his death, well before his funeral. That’s how you make drama work, you make the viewers/readers actually CARE about the character who dies.

      • Cirith
        Posted December 26, 2013 at 8:51 pm | Permalink

        Ah but Armstrong cried, the manliest of manly man! Also there was Mustangs cheesy line that it was gonna rain today, though we didn’t see his face so it doesn’t count.

      • Posted December 26, 2013 at 11:00 pm | Permalink

        You’re ignoring how much miniscule screentime the father got in Brotherhood, which in turn made his death not effect me at all when the funeral scene came. The original anime, however, had plenty of wonderful moments with him so that actually gave it an impact.

        Have none of you seen the original or do you hate it so much you refuse to mention it?

      • Cirith
        Posted December 27, 2013 at 11:29 am | Permalink

        Eh any scenes from the first animes making a character likeable also count for the new one :P

      • Posted December 28, 2013 at 2:09 am | Permalink

        Fair enough.

      • Gan_HOPE326
        Posted December 30, 2013 at 6:37 pm | Permalink

        I hate the first one, yeah. But besides that, I read the manga first of all, so it kinda all blends in one in my mind. So the problem of not caring for Hughes was not something I had, but I was previously influenced.

  6. kero92
    Posted December 26, 2013 at 1:24 pm | Permalink

    I’m sorry you feel that way~ssu

  7. Nagisa33
    Posted December 26, 2013 at 1:26 pm | Permalink

    Curse you pseudo Spice and Wolf season 3! Besides hoping Maoyuu Maou Yuusha would be similar to S&W, I was interested in the premise of working together to stop the war for both sides. Unfortunately, there were some problems. The attack of Yuji Every lead the Bland dealt this series a massive blow. I was giving him the benefit of the doubt and waiting for him to shake things up a bit but this never happened. The moment that cemented the generically named “Hero” as being as bland as an unsalted soggy noodle was when he slept in between the two quarreling girls. From what I remember, he was overshadowed by the girls so he didn’t have much chance to object. What makes him worth fighting for anyway? This is something that you see in a harem anime for goodness sake. Also, there was more focus on tits and ass than the economics and politics. I’ll need to look more closely at the staff instead of being wooed by voice actors and even the director.
    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2YHLqweyM_o/USHssty5qRI/AAAAAAAAANA/3nhP_Kn1964/s1600/maoyuu07.jpg

    For your number 1 moment, can’t the same be said with any formula? You could say, “Stop falling for moe shows” or “Stop falling for fanservice-heavy shows” Moe is designed to make you feel all warm inside while fanservice is designed to make you feel warm in your pants. Nakige or tear jerkers are designed to make you cry. All of these are tested ways elicit emotion. When people complain about fanservice, like I just did for Maoyuu, someone might say “Sex sells.” It’s simple, it’s easy, and it’s effective. That doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily bad tough.

    • Posted December 27, 2013 at 12:21 pm | Permalink

      I’d rather have more Spice & Wolf and have that story conclude rather than something similar but NOT Spice & Wolf.

      Looks like I’ll have to get to the novels sometime…

  8. AG
    Posted December 26, 2013 at 1:35 pm | Permalink

    I’m surprised the watamote ending is not there. But yeah, I agree with most of them especially Galilei Donna, that fall even made me go ‘ooh’ due to the severity of it.

  9. Posted December 26, 2013 at 1:57 pm | Permalink

    Only one I haven’t seen on here is the last one and the first one, and the only one of these I liked is #7. Was going to put #5 on my own worst moment thing (complete with a Maeda joke) but I thought that was too obvious a choice, especially considering the awful ending that show had.

    I’m surprised Robotics;Notes’ “girl dies in snow thing” in Episode 15 (or that entire Episode 12) didn’t get on here considering what you picked for the first choice and how you didn’t react so well to them when you saw them. I’m indifferent to the whole nakige thing in general, as I see it as a much more boring version of action exploitation aka who cares how stupid it is as long as it’s done so cool, which is pretty much nakige except replace “cool” with “cry”. Whilst you were mad at the “emotional manipulation” thing, I was going, “how is it we’re more than halfway through and yet nothing interesting has happened?”

    Also, Inferno Cop DOES count. Shorts are the future of anime.

    Edit: Also kind of surprised the fourth episode of Oreimo didn’t show up, but I guess it’s best to let that one lie.

  10. Posted December 26, 2013 at 4:51 pm | Permalink

    Completely agree with the Gargantian transvestite scenes- that was really the most awkward (and blatantly prejudiced) scenes this year.
    Lol, Valvrave had a lot of really terrible scenes, but it’s a show that lives on the extremes. When it fails, it fails epically. When it succeeds, well, you can’t help but fist-pump in victory (and perhaps mild exasperation) at the writers getting it right.

  11. Mr. Anon
    Posted December 26, 2013 at 5:03 pm | Permalink

    Hataraku maou-sama had the best comedic writing of any show in the last few years save Servant x Service. I have no idea how you could possibly call it bad.

  12. Johnny Joestar
    Posted December 26, 2013 at 5:40 pm | Permalink

    These lists make me realize just how few shows I actually keep up with.

  13. Owl
    Posted December 26, 2013 at 6:25 pm | Permalink

    Hey, I really like reading your blog, but when I scrolled down to moment 6, I was shocked. The t-word is a slur! The word transsexual is completely fine, but I am just appalled to see the t-word on your website because it is a very offensive term to the transgender community. You wouldn’t throw the n-word around left and right, would you? Maybe it was just a lack of background knowledge and you didn’t know that it was a slur; however, I highly suggest that you replace those slurs with something else. I like the fact that you acknowledge that the show’s portrayal of transsexualism is really screwed up, but using those offensive terms doesn’t help your case.

    • Owl
      Posted December 26, 2013 at 6:53 pm | Permalink

      I tried to add something by editing the comment but I guess I took too long because nothing is showing up, which is why I’ll reply instead. I’m assuming you did not intend to offend the transgender community. I posted the comment because I wanted to inform you and others on how demeaning the t-word is. I know I’m not revolutionizing the world by commenting on an anime blog. But since you’re one of my favorite anime bloggers, I wanted to tell you this so you won’t make the same mistake in the future.

    • Cirith
      Posted December 26, 2013 at 9:22 pm | Permalink

      What is it with Americans (just a guess since I usually hear it from that direction) and the whole letter-word stick? Even when they are discussing the words they avoid actually saying them, it makes discussions about the offensive nature of some words awkward and kinda silly sounding.

      Btw racial slurs are relatively localized, it has become less so with the advent of modern technology, but I wonder whether Scamp has any special inhibitions against the word nigger. I know that it’s a racial slur and thus have no reason to use it, but since my land has it’s own slurs and it’s own history it isn’t a particularly sensitive wort to me.

      (Yes I know that I’m not addressing the actual content, which is deliberate since it’s not addressed at me.)

    • fathomlessblue
      Posted December 26, 2013 at 11:56 pm | Permalink

      Naturally calling a transgendered person a tranny is incredibly offensive due it being a derogative term with backward-thinking and insidious associations…

      …all of which the characters in Gargantia represented. They did not portray actual people, but rather a collection of outdated stereotypes, seemingly from a mind-set that would view homosexuality or transgenderism as a source of moral perversion. So yeah, calling the cross-dressers ‘trannies’ seems the most logical choice. Calling them transsexuals/transgendered should be considered the more offensive option here. That would imply they represented individuals, rather than things conjured up by an incredibly ignorant person.

      • gw_kimmy
        Posted December 27, 2013 at 9:13 am | Permalink

        i thought tranny is short for transvestite and not referring to transsexual?

        ~_~

        /end possibly ignorant question

      • Cirith
        Posted December 27, 2013 at 11:23 am | Permalink

        It’s both as far as I know.

      • fathomlessblue
        Posted December 27, 2013 at 12:05 pm | Permalink

        I think it originally stems from the former, but can be used as an all-encompassing slang/slur towards anyone who does not conform to the gender image they were born with.

        I’m pretty sure the assaulters in Gargantia were supposed to represent transgendered people, not transvestites, although I doubt either group would be too happy with the association. I wouldn’t be surprised if the writers weren’t even aware of the distinction.

  14. Popka
    Posted December 26, 2013 at 7:09 pm | Permalink

    I did get to the stealth bomber part of Coppelion and I think I hated the part listed here more than that. The stealth bomber was incredibly stupid, but the kind of stupid I expect from terrible anime. The “don’t save me” thing was uniquely terrible, especially that part when the main girl starts crying and asks how the dad can be so “strong.”

  15. Posted December 26, 2013 at 7:11 pm | Permalink

    No surprise Scamp takes the Berg-Katse side and hates optimism-ssu. Haters gonna hate-ssu.

  16. Posted December 26, 2013 at 7:24 pm | Permalink

    I’ve had similar thoughts to number 6 myself since that trope is baffling common (although I stand by the fact that that entire episode wasn’t so great, I really wish Gargantia had combined two of it’s more “filler” episodes into one, like this one with the dancing one, so we could have had the nice moments and cut out the weird crap like this).
    As for number one, hmmm, yeah. I did like how that first arc ended but everything was paced so quickly it felt weird just how fast Ai/Hampie’s relationship changed. If we had another episode and saw I dunno, something maybe then it would have made more sense but it did feel like something was missing there.

  17. Posted December 26, 2013 at 11:03 pm | Permalink

    I’ve realized now that I haven’t watched nearly enough anime because I do not remember rapist transsexuals in any episode of anything.

  18. Cobrah
    Posted December 27, 2013 at 6:13 am | Permalink

    I only just started keeping up with airing anime this summer, so I missed a ton of these moments but holy shit yes to that Coppelion mention. I hate that scene so much I love it. Also in case you’re wondering, Coppelion doesn’t get any better. I don’t know why I kept up with it, but it pretty much sucks the entire time. One guy does a 360 no-scope shot with a snipe rifle though. So that was something.

  19. fathomlessblue
    Posted December 27, 2013 at 12:27 pm | Permalink

    Even though there were a tonne of groan inducing moments this year, either from individual moments (Gargantia) or entire shows (Arpeggio, Flowers of Evil), I’ve honestly found myself a lot less frustrated like I had with the previous four years of live-watching shows. Partly it’s learning to lower my expectations a little, but mostly it’s because I’ve finally broken my inability to drop a series after 3-4 episodes, and not allow the hate to build up. That still means I’m watching up to ten shows a season, rather than upwards of twenty, but it’s progress nonetheless. At the very least I have a better idea of the crappy shows I don’t enjoy watching ironically (Coppelion, Valvrave, Maoyuu Maou Yuusha), next to those I have a ball with. Good god, Galilei Donna, you were glorious at times!

  20. TheVoid
    Posted December 27, 2013 at 1:01 pm | Permalink

    I just can’t agree with the Guillotine Gorilla one. At least not yet. Also, I never noticed it with Haru in Tsuritama, but I heard it all the time with Hajime.

  21. Posted December 27, 2013 at 7:51 pm | Permalink

    Sunday without God was such an infuriating experience that I had to write a long ass post about it after only 3 episodes. And from what I hear, the rest of the series is even worse in terms of illogical story development. I’ll always remember this series for being the one that crushed my faith in the anime community because of the staggering amount of “this anime is so sad and touching” posts that occurred after episode 3. Yeah, opinions are subjective but shit like Sunday without God is so inept that I can’t help but judge people who liked it.

  22. Nadgers
    Posted December 28, 2013 at 12:27 am | Permalink

    Now, I have not watched neither the old gatchaman or this crowds thing. But I do know that the old Gatchaman is about science bird ninjas and the new one is about obnoxious teenagers doing social commentary.

    I think it’s pretty safe to say that Gatchaman crowds is the absolute worst thing.

  23. ANON
    Posted December 31, 2013 at 7:14 am | Permalink

    “I’m not really sure why, all of them were crying so it got to me”.

    I did say that, but not using the same words. So you do read the comments on your post :D

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